infinite and always
by edeabeth
Summary: She was meant to be a child bride and he was meant to drown in that fish pond. They both have horrible childhoods and face unsteady futures that are filled with broken glass and rusted nails. (or: how they connect over and over again.) AU (rated for abuse, cutting and suicide attempt.)
1. evening

_._

_Infinite _

.

.

"_The people who denied who they were or where they had been were in the greatest danger. They were blind sleepwalkers on tightropes, fingers scoring thin air."_

_._

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My past two Avatar fanfictions have been Sokka/Toph centric one shots. I've decided to do a multi chaptered story centered on Zuko/Toph. Basically, they're horribly lonely people with horrible childhoods who connect.

.

Enjoy.

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_(evening)_

.

He runs a hand through his hair, looking out at the restaurant. The occupants are all quietly immersed within their own worlds, the smell of black tea strong in the evening. A small group of university students had claimed the back corner for the sake of access to the outlets for their laptops and gazed endlessly into open textbooks decorated with neon sticky notes.

"They won't give you any problem tonight," Iroh told him, setting down two fresh tea pots on the counter. "Exam season for them. That old lady in the back reading will leave soon." He pointed to the woman with grey hair flipping idly through the pages of a thick book.

Zuko nodded.

"Sometimes a girl will come in late when the rest of them have left. You take extra care with her." The phone rang shrilly from the back. Iroh hurried away from the counter and into the kitchens only to remerge within seconds. "My ride is here. You take good care of the Dragon for me, nephew."

The old man fumbled for his jacket and umbrella, face pale and weary.

"Safe travels," Zuko managed to spit out just before Iroh fled the shop and into the pouring rain.

He halted at the door way, turning.

"She's your sister, Zuko."

The door jingled merrily and loudly as the door opened and shut.

He bit back a series of unpleasant words, keeping in mind the young girl perched at the counter with a large mug of tea in front of her. She looked up suddenly, arching a brow. "Family problems?"

He gave her a skeptical look, eyeing the worn copy of Twilight in her hands. "Mind your own business."

She exhaled loudly. "I'm Meng. You ought to be nicer to customers, you know. My Aunt Wu tells me all the time that friendly service equals friendly customers."

"Do you need a refill?"

Meng looked surprised. "No."

"Good."

He walked away from her and sat up in the tall barstool behind the cash. The rain was coming down hard and slowly the tea shop was emptying. The old lady left, throwing a few crumpled ones in the tip jar, and was followed by the students out into the night. Meng glared at him before calling for a taxi and taking her leave as well.

The door jingled loudly.

She threw her hood back, wiping her hand over her forehead to catch the raindrops. "Iroh," she called out as she made her way slowly towards the cash where he sat. "I'm running late tonight." She sighed as she fumbled for the stool. "All these papers. They never end, I swear."

He watched her.

"What tea would you recommend tonight? It's freezing out there."

Zuko leaned forward, raising an eye brow. She kept her gaze on her lap, shrugging off her rather bright red jacket and placing it on the back of her chair. Her dark hair fell over her shoulders, damp with the rain fall.

"Hi?"

She jumped, eyes widening. "Iroh?"

"He left."

She grasped her jacket tightly in her hands. "When did he leave?"

"An hour ago. He left for Japan." Zuko frowned. "Can I get you anything?"

"No thank you." She slipped the jacket on, pulling her hood up. "Have a nice night."

.

The phone rang loudly from the back. Zuko got it on the last ring, "Jasmine Dragon."

"Your sister will be fine, they tell me."

"Uncle."

"Nephew."

"I don't care about Azula."

Iroh sighed. "She's deeply hurt. They've got her under surveillance to ensure she doesn't try to hurt herself again. Much unresolved conflict."

"I'm watching the store as a favour. I do not care about Azula." Zuko ground out. "She's dead to me."

There was a pause.

"Did the girl come today?"

"What girl?"

"She's the blind one."

"She's blind?"

He could hear his Uncle laugh loudly. "You didn't know?"

"She didn't have a dog or anything. How was I supposed to know?"

"Toph is a peculiar one. Anyways, I should check into my hotel now. I will call you soon. Take care, Zuko."

Zuko hung up.

.

It was almost midnight the next night she came in.

He hates working at the Jasmine Dragon at night, watching the hours of the evening fade away. It's depressing watching the sunset melt away into midnight, stars becoming sharper and sharper like rusted nails in the sky. He hates the people that come in and out, how nothing binds them down.

Zuko hates not being able to leave.

He watches her intently, the way her hands ghost over the chairs and tables as she makes her way to the counter. "Iroh?"

"Still gone."

She wrinkled her nose as she hopped up onto the stool. .

Zuko folded his arms and leaned against the wall, eying the emptied tables and chairs behind her. "Do you want tea?"

"I did walk into a tea shop, right?"

He snorts. "What type do you want?"

"Just a green tea. Nothing in it."

"He likes to talk about you quite a bit about you." Zuko mumbled as he grabbed a clean tea cup from the rack.

She rests her elbows on the surface of the counter and stretches her back our, cracking and popping her spine. "He talks quite a bit about everything. Iroh has some crazy stories."

Zuko nodded. "He does."

"Is he your father?"

"Uncle."

"Cool."

.

Sunrise emerges slowly.

She's long gone and he's finally leaving the Jasmine Dragon.

_("So, who are you anyways?")_

_("Zuko.")_

_("I'm Toph.")_

.


	2. midnight

.

Infinite

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'_We are the free birds. They want to be us."_

.

Yes, Wan Shi is a reference to the Wan Shi Tong's library of the second season.

Enjoy.

.

_(midnight)_

.

Toph shuts the door firmly behind her and kicks off her flip flops violently. She wants to throw her cane hard against the wall and make it break from the sheer frustration and rage knotted together. Part of her wants to scream like a child, beating her fists against the heavy wooden door.

There's a persistent beeping from her answering machine.

She presses the button forcefully, listening to the date and time being played out.

"Hey, Toph. It's just me. Ty-Lee. I just wanted to say I think we were really going somewhere today, and that not to feel to upset right now. Things are going to get better, it'll just take time. We've made some great progress though, today, and I'm really impressed with how far you've come! And… um-don't worry about throwing that folder at me."

'_Message deleted. End of messages.'_

"Go take a flying leap of a cliff," Toph mumbled before she tripped over her flip flops.

"Damn it all to hell!" She shouted, taking them and throwing them across the room. "Fuck." She seethed, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. "Just gotta breathe. C'mon, Bei Fong. Get a handle on it. This is ridiculous."

Toph crawled over to the table and felt for the one chair that she'd carved so many notches into. Her fingers ghosted over each little indent, feeling for the amount. "Thirty more," she whispered as she took out the pocket knife from her bag and began to cut into the wood once more. "Twenty-nine."

.

"Toph Bei Fong!" Iroh called as soon as the bells began to jingle.

"You are back from Japan. How was your trip?"

"What tea are you in the mood for tonight?" He wiped the counter clean. "And unfortunately, my trip was not one for pleasure. Many family problems these days. I understood you have met my Nephew Zuko, though."

"Anything. It's been a long day."

He began to measure out tea leaves. "The coldness of winter is settling into the city quickly."

"Settling?" Toph smirked. "It's settled at this point. It's horrible out at night."

There were two other customers sitting in the back, looking over an assortment of books and papers and lost in their own little worlds together. Toph felt painfully aware of them; the slight sound of the pages turning and tea cups being set down on the table again and again.

She usually waited until after midnight for tea when the store would be emptied of people. Crowds of people made her feel uneasy, a prickly awareness that they could see her but she could never _see_ them.

"Did Zuko treat you well?"

"First class."

"I am glad. He can be very closed of sometimes. I was worried he'd be cold to my favorite customer."

"Colder than the weather? Never." Toph waved her hand at him.

He set a cup of tea down before her. "Here we are, Toph. Something to warm you up this evening." Iroh then poured himself a cup and sat down across from her.

"I taste mangos. And orange?" She leaned forward in her seat. "Orange. Is that correct?"

He chuckled. "You are indeed correct. I picked up this blend during my time in Japan. I thought a nice summery flavor would perk you up tonight. You look very tired this evening."

Toph snorted. "Therapy. It goes as well as it always does."

"They still make you go to that woman? That is wrong. How does the government decide if you are in need of her aid and guidance? Why should you trust her with your story?"

The two customers from the back were packing their bags. Toph turned her head slightly, listening to the sound of books being closed loudly. "They say I'm unstable half the time. That I haven't really adapted to living on my own properly. That I won't ever." She exhaled angrily.

"I think you have. I watch you walk these streets with more confidence than anyone else!"

"Unfortunately, they don't really care."

"Are you close to being done these therapy sessions at all?"

"Nope. Still have months more of these sessions. And with my luck they'll just add more." She pulled at the sleeves of her cardigan anxiously. "I'm just frustrated with everything right now."

"It will get better, trust me."

The door flew open. Toph jumped, her hands knocking against her tea cup. "Zuko!" Iroh exclaimed as he took a cloth and dabbed at the hot tea on her hands. "Show more respect to the fine customers of this establishment. Have you lost all of your manners this evening?"

"Can I talk to you in the back?"

.

"I will be seeing you soon, I hope. Have a wonderful evening, Toph. Zuko, you walk her home."

"Uncle!"

"Do it for me."

"Is everything okay?" Toph straightened in her chair.

The door shut loudly.

"Are you done?" Zuko frowned at her. "Apparently I'm walking you home."

She narrowed her eyes. "I can walk myself perfectly fine, thank you."

"My uncle wants me to walk you myself."

"That is grand. Simply marvelous." Toph pushed the emptied cup of tea away before knotting her scarf properly around her neck, playing with the soft ends for a second. "I am perfectly capable of walking myself home though. I don't see," She paused for a moment. "I don't _understand_ why you are fixated on escorting me."

Zuko placed the cup in the sink before jumping over the counter. "He'll kill me if you go home alone."

Toph yanked her jacket on, smirking at the direction of the sink. "Your problem." She got up from her chair only to run into him. "The hell?"

"You're ready? Good. Walk."

She took out her collapsible cane from her pocket. "You used to be more pleasant when we made awkward small talk."

Zuko opened the door for her. "Whatever. Where do you live?"

"The Ba Sing Se District, right by the Red Lotus Street." Toph fumbled for her gloves as they walked, her cane clacking loudly with every step against the ground. "It's getting colder."

He nodded. "Don't like the cold?"

"Not really. You?"

"Hate winter."

"What happened back there? Why did Iroh leave like that?" Toph asked, before adding on as if an afterthought, "Or is it personal?"

Zuko shoved his hands in his pockets. "My sister died."

She blinked. "I'm sorry."

"Doesn't matter. It wasn't like she was a great sister or anything."

"You two weren't close?"

He snorted. "She tried to drown me when we were younger." Zuko tried to remember something of Azula that wasn't ruined with anger before pushing past the memories all together. "You have any brothers or sisters?"

Toph rolled her eyes, the effect looking strange with her almost milky green stare. "My parents didn't want to take a chance on another screw up. Kind of sucks when you get something damaged on your first try."

They walked in silence.

.

Her apartment was above a small bookstore. They went to the back of the building and climbed the stairs, Toph hitting each step with her cane. "Careful of the eighth step. It feels like it might break soon."

The stairs looked like it was rotting and the rail was rough and left his hand with several splinters. "These stairs need to get fixed."

"Wan Shi's been busy. It's not too bad, anyways, as long as you don't touch the rail." She began digging in her pockets for her key as Zuko waited for her to go inside.

"You have something taped to your door." Zuko frowned at the envelope taped to it. "This normal?"

Toph began feeling for it. "What? Is it a notice or something?"

Zuko pulled it off the glass window and handed it to her. "Here. It looks like a note." Her hands were tracing over the envelope.

"That's weird. Wan slips it beneath the door for me. Can you?" She held it back to him. "I don't think there is any braille."

He took it and ripped it open as carefully as he could. Two photographs were enclosed within the envelope, and a single note written on a scrap of paper.

_Little girl, watch yourself._

"Who is it from?"

His throat went dry. "It… it doesn't say. It's just some pictures."

She cocked her head slightly. "Pictures? Like what?" Her hands clenched around her cane. "Is there any note in there?"

"Yeah."

She sighed. "What is in the envelope? You're being difficult."

"There are two pictures. One is us. When you came in a few days ago for a tea." He frowned at the image. "One is you unlocking your door."

"What does the note say?"

"Little girl, watch yourself. Does that mean anything to you at all?"

"No." She blinked, keeping her voice detached. "Would you mind throwing those away? There is a garbage can at the end of the street. Thank you for walking me."

She flung the door open roughly and ignoring his attempt to stop her, locked it tight behind her.

.


	3. sunset

infinite

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_Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space._

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I wasn't going to add Azula originally, but it did give a pretty good reason to begin the story. I added Ty Lee for the same reason I had in an earlier story, Attach and Assemble, just to be that aggravatingly cheerful character I could mention. Since I've used both characters now, I decided I would throw in Mai. I don't quite know what her role is, but here she is.

And yeah. The plan is for this story is to switch key perspectives for every chapter.

Meng is also the one I'm going to be sort of bashing. She's just too easy. Also, it is a good excuse to bash Twilight a little.

.

_sunset_

.

Zuko doesn't throw the pictures out.

He throws them in his desk drawer instead, slamming it shut roughly. He doesn't understand the point of leaving photographs on a blind girl's door for her to find, because Toph probably would have never seen them if he hadn't walked her. She never would have understood what the images were.

Maybe Toph would have found them eventually, and felt the glossy surface of them. But how long would it have taken for her to realize that someone was watching her? How long had she been unaware of their existence?

_Little girl, watch yourself. _

Zuko curls his hands into fists that shake from pure need to hit _somebody_.

His phone rings. He doesn't even bother to check the caller ID, but rather answers it out of sheer hope of his Uncle.

"Hello?"

"Zuko." Mai's voice is dry. "I suppose you've heard about Azula."

Zuko kicked the desk. "Bad time," he grunted out. "Can you call back or something?"

"Your sister is dead."

_Cold hands shoving him deeper. Limbs flailing around. Icy, murky water. _

He swallowed. "So I've heard."

"Azula hung herself with an electrical cord." Zuko could hear background noise of something like a café. "She tried to electrocute herself first, you know."

"I don't want the details."

"Shame."

Zuko leaned against the desk, trying to massage feeling back into his foot. "What do you want?"

Her tone was icy. "They are shipping her ashes here for her to be with your family. I thought you should know so you could come to her funeral Tuesday."

"Go hang yourself, Mai. I don't care. Why the hell would you even care?" He ran his hand through his thick hair. "She attacked you. Do you remember?"

There was a long pause. Zuko was considering the possibility of her hanging up on him when Mai spoke again. "She was my best friend. Someone should care. I know exactly what your father did to her. How he ruined _her_. Not that _you_ would care."

"You don't know anything." Zuko slammed the phone back down onto the cradle and struggled not to scream or break apart into a million little pieces.

He sunk down to his knees gasping. "You don't know anything."

.

His sheets feel like ice and the air feels thick.

Zuko wakes up struggling to breathe most nights.

He remembers unfeeling hands pushing him under deeper and deeper.

.

Exam season had come to a grinding halt, students becoming more and more restless.

It had been five days since he'd walked Toph home from the Jasmine Dragon, and since then he was in charge of the night shift. His Uncle had left again to Japan to fill out an assortment of papers and deal with the legal matters.

Meng was perched at a table this time, glowering at him from afar overtop of her slightly battered copy of New Moon. "Can I get another peppermint, please?" She called out.

He served her a refill quickly.

"Can you make them quiet down?" Meng frowned at the four students in the back as they broke into another loud conversation filled with laughter. "They're being really distracting."

He shook his head. "They aren't being that bad. Exams have been stressing them out. Just read your stupid book." He gave the book in her hands a disdainful glance.

"Iroh's nicer." She glared.

The students burst into laughter behind them. "You're right. He is."

"I won't tip you!"

"Does it look like I care?"

He emptied the remaining dregs into the sink behind the counter and began rinsing the tea pot out thoroughly. The night had been busy, proved by the growing collection of tea pots and emptied canisters on the counter surface. The door opened and shut loudly, and turning his head for a second revealed Meng's table emptied.

Zuko looked up on the shelf where his Uncle kept his prized canisters of loose leaf tea sat.

There was a framed photograph sitting front and center that had never been there before.

It was one of Azula and him when they were younger, one of the few images caught on camera of the two not quite as rigid as later images were. Azula was grinning with her teeth at the camera, her eyes tangled with dark circles.

He threw the picture in the garbage can.

.

Zuko didn't bother saying hello once his Uncle picked the phone up. "Where did that picture come from?"

"I found it in old things your mother had sent me before the accident." Iroh's voice sounded thin and brittle. "I thought you might appreciate something of better times. Before all this."

"It wasn't an accident." He slammed his fist down against the counter.

There was a loud roar of street noise. "You don't know that. You only think."

"I do know that!"

He could feel Iroh's frown. "What happened that night?"

Zuko slumped down to the ground, tucking his knees to his chest securely. He squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't want to talk about it."

"It has been five years, Zuko. You need to tell somebody what happened."

His heart began to pound.

"Tell what? Who cares? Who really cares that a dead man used to rape my dead little sister who went psychotic? She tried to kill me before. He _made_ her into a monster, Uncle. You chose to ignore the reality when you could have done something. You gave me a knife, remember?"

"Zuko," Iroh choked out.

"You kept telling me to talk. You asked for it."

He hung up.

.

_They hid behind the heavy velvet curtains. He could feel the anticipation rolling off her in waves. _

_His father's voice was low and slippery, like oil in water. It made him think of birds dying in water, coated by the slickness of grease. "You are far too lenient with the boy, Ursa."_

"_You are going to ruin him." His mother spat back at him, drawing herself up to her full height. Bruises were like ink on her pale arms. "I will not let you taint him."_

_He slapped her hard. _

_There was a brief moment before she hit the ground when she caught sight of Zuko watching through the heavy curtains. _

_._

He avoids looking in mirrors still.

The scar on his face is almost gone now, faded into a silver reminder.

It reminds him of plenty.

_._

Zuko looked up when the bell jingled loudly. "Have you told the police?"

Toph ignored him as she manoeuvered herself towards the counter. He cringed as she bumped into two chairs left pushed out from tables. "Can I just get a blackberry tea? Plain."

He began searching for the right container. "Have you?"

"No. And, if you know what's good for you, you won't either." She paused. "You also won't mention this to Iroh."

She looked cold despite the numerous layers she was wearing. Her green cardigan looked two or three sizes too big, engulfing her small form as she shed her jacket.

He thought about the picture of her unlocking her door. "You have to tell somebody."

Toph shrugged, listening to him steeping her tea. "I told you." She used the hair elastic from around her wrist to pull her long hair back.

"No, you didn't."

She shrugged again. "Close enough."

"You are in an excellent mood tonight."

"You are being stalked."

Toph exhaled sharply. "Listen, hothead. I can take care of myself. I just want my tea."

He set the tea down loudly in front of her as she yanked off her black gloves. "You are being an idiot."

"Does it look like I'm concerned?" She glared intently at a space a little off from where Zuko stood with his feet planted firmly. Toph's face was pale; the dark circles beneath her eyes looking like bruises. Her hands were clenched around the tea cup.

"Yeah. It does."

She looked surprised, cocking her head slightly as she began struggling for something to say back.

Except she couldn't say anything.

Slowly Toph bent down to her leather purse, pulling out three unopened envelopes. "I found these taped on my window. I started checking after the first one." She splayed them out on the countertop. "I don't think I'm going to be able to understand what they'll say if I even try to open them."

"May I?"

"Knock yourself out." She leaned back in her chair, shutting her eyes.

He slit the first envelope slowly with a knife. A single picture was enclosed.

It took Zuko a second to understand what he was looking at.

Toph was lying with her back to the camera, blankets pulled to her waist. Her long hair looked like ink across the white sheets, tangling slightly. "Do you have curtains?"

"What?"

"Do you have any curtains?"

Her hands began to tremble. "Yes. Why?"

"It's a picture of you sleeping."

Toph fumbled for an envelope, pushing it in his direction. "Open the next one. Please."

It was nothing but piece of paper folded carefully and a single match. "Little girl, I know your secrets. What makes you burn." Zuko read carefully.

The tea cup shattered on the floor.

"He doesn't know," she whispered. "He can't. How can he know?"

Zuko held the match carefully. "What does he mean?"

She struggled to gather up her belongings. "I'm sorry about the cup. How much do I owe you?"

He grabbed her arm before she could slide down from her chair. "Wait. There's broken glass. Let me clean it up before you go."

She bit her lip before nodding.

Zuko kept his eye on her as he quickly gathered up the pieces of the shattered cup. "Don't worry about paying for it. We have plenty more in the back."

"I need to go, Zuko."

Her expression looked haunted.

"Give me a few minutes. I can close the place and walk you."

Toph nodded.

.

She throws out the third envelope.

.


	4. twilight

.

infinite

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'_It was a play and I knew how it ended, I didn't want to audition for any of the roles. It was no game, no casual thrill. It was three-bullet Russian roulette.'_

_._

And here is Aang. He had to come into it eventually. And Toph is a pottery/art student. (It made sense when I was thinking about it.) (It also let me throw Aang into it.)

Lots of flashbacks in here, or just mere lines I've thrown in here to feel satisfied with it without spoiling too much of the story. But, yeah. Some warning for the details.

Also, to be honest, I haven't really decided who's behind the envelopes yet. But it isn't Azula. Azula is really dead, along with the rest of Zuko's family minus Iroh.

_._

_twilight_

_._

Some nights she can still smell smoke.

.

Toph hung her bag and jacket up on the hook before moving towards her seat. "Twinkle Toes." She greeted blandly as she sat down in the stool. She rolled her sleeves up roughly. "You get the clay out already? Excellent."

She could smell the wet clay already, her hands searching the table. Aang pushed the mound a little closer to her wandering touch. "Thanks."

"You look like you aren't sleeping."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Don't you dare start stressing. Or tell Katara." She squeezed the clay tightly in her grip. "Just got a lot on my plate right now. It'll blow over soon enough."

He snickered. "That, coincidentally, is the assignment for the week."

Toph furrowed her brow. "What is the assignment?"

"If you were on time you would have heard."

She punched him.

"Uncle! Ow. How do you have that good aim when you can't even see?" He rubbed his arm painfully, grateful for the long sleeved smock he was wearing as the red clay from his hands stained the heavy fabric. "We're supposed to make a set of dishes. Four plates, four cups."

The low murmuring of the class made Toph grit her teeth. "Does nobody actually converse in here? Is everyone mute or something?"

"You're the only impaired one here." Aang ducked her fist this time.

"Whatever." She began shaping the clay carefully, her fingers moving over it fluidly and searching out potential air pockets as she worked it a little more hard. "How has your week been? I haven't _seen_ you here. All we've done were art history papers lately." She began smoothing the surface. "God, that stuff was boring. How do I even describe a painting, anyways?"

He bumped his foot against her foot from beneath their work station. "My Uncle Gyatso was sick so I was looking after him for a while. His idea of medicine is eating cake." He told her. "He also is a firm believer in throwing cakes at his neighbours from his attic window. Uncle claims that it'll make him better. Reversed karma or something."

Toph grinned. "You totally helped him throw the cakes at them, didn't you?"

"I was like six when we did that!"

"Liar." Her eyes gleamed.

He glared at her. "Nine."

.

She plugged her music player into the docking station of the studio, turning the volume up loud.

Aang had left minutes ago, leaving her alone in the room by herself. The music was building up to the point where she could feel the vibrations in her chest. She pressed the button on her watch, listening to the electronic voice read the time out to her.

"_7:25 PM." _

Toph fumbled for her bag on the hook, running her thumb over each pin. Aang had made a series of them for a Christmas present, all engraved with various patterns and shapes for her to pin to her bag. They helped her sort out what pocket she was looking for.

"Gotcha," she smiled as she unzipped the one. Pulling out a book she went back towards her seat.

Her stool wasn't there anymore.

She narrowed her eyes, trailing one hand along the table searching for her seat. She ran into another table.

"Aang!" She shouted, spinning around only to knock into her stool. "Stop it. This isn't funny, you jerk."

Her music began to play louder.

She winced at the increased volume, hands going to her ears. Toph could smell cigarette smoke.

Her heart tightened.

Aang never smoked. He had asthma.

"Who's here?" She spun around, shoving the table away. Toph's hands were shaking. She could feel them tremble the way she could feel her heart pound. "Answer me!" She shouted over the music.

Toph hit the ground hard, the air knocked out of her lungs.

Someone had shoved the table back hard into her.

She fumbled for her pocket where she kept her phone.

.

_Kuei touched her face lightly. _

"_You'd look beautiful bleeding." He whispered, running a hand down her arm. "Beneath my whip."_

.

Zuko slammed the doors open, cringing at the overwhelming volume of music.

Most of the lights in the school were already turned off, except for the pottery studio. "Toph!" He shouted over the music. The room looked like a disaster zone. Tables were arranged in an odd fashion, stools knocked over everywhere. He caught sight of the docking station playing the onslaught of wordless beats turned into war drums.

He unplugged the entire thing.

The silence felt disorienting. Zuko shut his eyes tightly, trying to understand. He'd left and locked up the Jasmine Dragon, despite only starting his shift at seven. It was a little after eight now, and his Uncle had called him demanding that he go to the Republic School and check on Toph due to a strange phone call that he couldn't understand.

Several pieces of pottery were broken at his feet. The room was a mess, he grimaced. The tables looked almost like a maze and he could only imagine Toph stumbling over the stools that were tipped over.

The contents of her bag were strewn across the room and the pages of a book torn to shreds. He caught sight of the ripped up pages of braille.

"Toph!"

He could hear her now. A slight movement beneath a desk.

"Zuko?" She whispered.

He got down on his hands and knees, aware of the broken glass. "What the hell happened?" He began crawling beneath a desk to her.

She was sitting gazing off into nothing, her eyes red.

"I don't know."

Her hands were grasping her phone like a life line.

.

She tried to stand up but the moment she put weight on her left foot she nearly fell back to the ground. Zuko caught her by her shoulders and pulled her up onto a desk. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She bent to try to feel her ankle. "Fuck."

Zuko squatted down. "What happened?" He began to examine the swelling.

She flinched. "I landed on it wrong when the table was pushed into me."

"Do you know who did it?"

She scowled. "Do you want a physical description?"

"You saw what-" Zuko frowned at her. "Really?"

Toph shrugged. "My music was loud when he came in. Aang had just left but I thought he was playing a joke when I couldn't find my chair. Everything kept moving around though, and the music was just getting louder. Aang never would have done this." She tilted her head back. "I smelt cigarette smoke."

"That narrows it down." He stood up. "C'mon. You're going to the hospital."

.

_She was burning. _

.

He walked her in silence, her hand tight around his arm.

"Are you okay?" He asked her quietly. "There's a ledge coming."

Toph didn't respond until she had found the ledge of the sidewalk and gotten over it. "Grand." Her ankle hurt and her chest throbbed from where the table had slammed into her. She felt frustrated and lost, confused and all sorts of pathetic. "This has never happened before."

"What's never happened?"

"I've never been attacked here. No one has ever stalked me."

They walked quietly until they got to the bookstore. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"What?"

Her face felt warm. "Can you go inside and check?"

"Sure."

He avoided touching the railing and kept an eye on the steps. Toph led him up slowly, her sprained ankle keeping steps uneven.

The stairs looked even worse than they had the last time he'd gone up them, he realized. "Will your landlord ever fix these?"

Waited for him at the top, leaning against the brick wall and she dug around in her bag for her key. Her door was thankfully emptied of any envelopes. "He keeps saying he will. He also needs to fix the window in the back at some point. I kept trying to open it all summer with the heat, but it never opened." She twisted the key in the lock. "I think he just lives in the basement reading all day."

"He runs the bookshop below?"

She limped into her apartment. "Yeah. He also is the head librarian over by Omashu."

Zuko tried to turn the light on but frowned when nothing happened. She winced. "The light bulb burned out a while ago, I think. I forgot about that. Guess it's not really something I need."

Her apartment looked emptied minus stacks of books heaped everywhere. She had an extra jacket slung over the back of a desk chair, her desk piled high with thick paper. One of the two chairs at a table had various notches carved into the one leg. "Do you mind?" He asked, feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

"Go for it."

She sat down on the couch and lifted her leg up, her fingers feeling for the thick bandages. Toph could hear Zuko opening doors and checking the area. "Anything?" She called out.

He came back into the room. "No. I shut your curtains."

Toph rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. "Thank you, by the way. For coming. And taking me to the hospital." Her face felt hot. "And this."

Zuko ignored her. "Can I get you anything? Water?"

Toph gave him a tight smile. "I think I'll be alright."

.

She locks the door once he leaves.

.

Toph pulls out a box from the closet, holding her breath the entire time.

She grabs a knife from the tiny little kitchen, hitting her hip against the sharp corner of the table. She ignores the painful throb and slits the tape to open it up for the first time since she had moved in.

It smells like ashes and smoke, and feels soft and poisonous.

She pulls out the veil carefully, lifting it into her hands as gently as she can. Toph runs her fingers through the endless fabric, feeling an anxiety form in the pit of her stomach.

The crown of the veil is cold and hard, jewels and silver forming a wintery crest. She flinches at the icy coldness of the crown, her fingers feeling numb as they trail over each jewel.

.

"_They are emeralds. The family stone." Her mother ran a comb through her long hair as she worked out the tangles. "You will look very beautiful in the veil."_

_Toph sits mutely before her. _

"_You are very lucky that Kuei has taken such an interest in you, despite," The comb was sat down on the tray beside Toph as her mother faltered for a moment. "Your flaws."_

_She squeezed her hands tight together, forcing her face to remain emotionless. _

"_You will have completed your purpose, finally." Her father announced from the door way. "All these years being our burden. You will have finally paid for your debts to us."_

_He grabbed her face roughly. "You're pathetic, you know. Useless." He snorted. "You can't do anything for yourself."_

_She cried out from his rough touch, shrinking back. Her mother's cold hands come around her neck. "You will obey Kuei. You will not cause him any trouble, the way you cause us."_

_Toph tried not to cringe at the pressure around her throat. _

"_You are of no use," Her father whispered into her ear. She could smell the whisky off his words. "You should have died in the gutters. We should have dropped you off a building, drowned you at birth." _

_Toph threw the tray to the side violently, listening to the clatter of brushes and combs hit the wall hard. The hand held mirror shattered from the impact. _

_Her father slapped her hard. _

"_You little bitch," he seethed as he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her aggressively. Her mother shrieked, stepping away from the fallen chair as her husband threw Toph into the mess of the tray. "He'll make you bleed, you know. He'll rip you apart and enjoy every moment of it."_

_Toph cried out as he kicked her hard in the chest. _

"_You'll be his china doll, ready to break again and again."_

_. _

She ripped the veil to shreds.

The remains she boxed away.

.

(she still wasn't ready to let go of it all.)


	5. starlight

.

infinite

.

'_She would be half a planet away, floating in a turquoise sea, dancing by moonlight to flamenco guitar.'_

.

At some point I need to begin an essay for school. At some point. But for now, that is a tomorrow problem.

I likely won't start another chapter until this essay is done, but I have written and uploaded five chapters within two days. (I'm immensely enjoying this story quite a bit.)

Also, I feel the need to thank everyone who has reviewed this story of mine. It makes me feel all sorts of excitement that people are enjoying the story that I have only a faint idea of where it is going. Though, I have finally decided who was leaving the pictures for Toph. Progress, I guess.

(I feel the need to say that I do know that my phone conversations suck. I'm going to try to limit them after this chapter.)

.

_starlight_

.

"I'll be home in time for the funeral Tuesday. I'm assuming you will not be there?"

"No." He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and set it on the counter. "I don't want to be there."

"Your father's friend Zhao says he will be there. Do you remember him?"

"Yes."

Iroh exhaled. "Shame. I wish you would not have. I never liked that man." Zuko could hear the noise from the hotel lobby fading away. "How is Toph though? Her phone call left me concerned. Was she alright?"

He didn't know what to say.

Should he explain the envelopes? That someone attacked her and left her confused and unable to leave the room? That he had to check her apartment to make sure no one was hiding in her closet or beneath her bed?

_No. _

Zuko slammed the fridge door shut. "She sprained her ankle at the studio and couldn't get up. Toph needed someone to come and get her."

"Is that all? She sounded very distraught over the phone. All I could hear was that music playing and her trying to speak before she hung up."

"Yeah. She's fine."

"Does she have your number?"

_No_. "Yes."

"Good. I am just going to pack my bags. I'll be heading out within the hour to catch my plane."

"Safe travels."

"Thank you, Nephew. I will be seeing you soon."

Zuko hung up.

.

"Can you do me a favour and let me borrow some supplies from out back?" Zuko leaned against Sokka's truck. "I have a project I want to do tomorrow." The weather had been oddly warm that morning, making him regret the thick sweater beneath his jacket.

Sokka nodded. "Yeah, sure. Let me know what you take though so I can replace it before the boss finds out. What do you need the stuff for? What is this project that you're getting your hands dirty for?"

Zuko shrugged. "I want to fix up some stairs."

"I thought you lived on the first floor in your building."

"I do."

"Alrighty." Sokka raised an eye brow as he ran his hands through his long hair. "I heard about Azula, by the way."

Zuko glared at him. "I will burn your face off if you even think about saying _sorry_."

Sokka rolled his eyes. "As if. Your sister was a psychotic bitch." He grabbed a tool box from the back of the truck. "I can say that because my sister is a controlling bitch. No. I just want to see if you're doing okay."

His heart clenched in a way that wasn't so painful.

"You might be the first person that has asked if I was okay."

Sokka shrugged.

.

He runs through the streets at night, trying to forget the sound of Azula ever crying.

It takes him a couple hours to realize he's still trying to forget Azula altogether.

.

Toph could feel the vibrations from inside her apartment.

She opened the door cautiously, leaning outwards. "Hello?" She called out as she stepped onto the narrow porch and turned her body towards the staircase. "Wan Shi? Are you out here?" The hammering stopped.

"It's Zuko." He said around a mouthful of nails. He leaned back on his heels and looked up at her, her hand mindfully brushing against the rail at the top. Toph looked perplexed.

"Are you fixing my stairs?"

"Yeah." He put the nails in the pouch of the work belt that Sokka had lent him. "I should have told you I was out here. Sorry."

"You didn't have to do that. Thank you, though." She shifted her weight slightly. "Do you want any water? It's hot out today."

He nodded slightly as he picked up the hammer.

Toph stood there awkwardly for a few minutes as Zuko hammered before he realized. "Yeah, sorry. Water would be nice."

She left to go inside, leaving the door wide open behind her. Zuko watched her walk away, eyeing the slight limp.

He exhaled as he looked up at the sky.

The sky was a shocking blue, not a cloud in the sky. It made him feel anxious, filled with wanting's and desires. Part of him wanted to leave the city, break free of the crowds of people that drift through the streets alone. He wants to be detached, no longer detained by the world. He's tired of being so weighed down by his entire existence, a history of monsters clinging to his shadow.

Zuko nearly toppled over as the piece of wood went flying off.

"You alright?" Toph asks him as she sat a pitcher of water down on the top step with a single glass. Zuko sat down two steps beneath her and poured for himself.

"Fine."

"You really don't have to do this, Zuko. I appreciate it, but Wan Shi would have gotten around to it eventually."

He placed the cold glass of water against his forehead, sighing at the coldness. "It's fine. They were a hazard. Also, you're missing a step now."

"Then maybe I shouldn't try to convince you not to finish." She grinned at him as she braided her hair idly. "The weather can't make up its mind, can it? It's been freezing out all week, and now it's a heat wave."

She was oddly covered head to toe despite the near crushing heat, though. He had shucked his jacket and sweater a long time ago, pulling on a thin tee shirt before he had started over for her apartment. "I don't know what I prefer. The heat or the cold."

Toph leaned against the banister. "I think I would rather have the cold. At least you can wear thick socks and a scarf to deal."

"You make a good point."

She poked Zuko lightly in the shoulder, sticking her tongue out. "Of course I do."

They listened to a loud truck fly down a street, the engine rumbling violently. "So why art?" His face went red as he realized how poorly his words sounded once he said them. Three words strung together loosely.

Toph leaned forward. "What do you mean, why art?"

He curled his toes. "Why are you an art student?"

"When I can't see it?"

"Yeah."

She tilted her head back as she laughed. "This is going to sound weird, but it's something I can actually see in a way. I see through touch. I like working with clay because I'm shaping it and I get to show how I see it. I actually don't even know how to explain it. I just like art. My father used to hate it." Her smile faded and she crossed her arms roughly, pulling at the sleeves of her sweater. "Anyways. Since when are you a handy man?"

"Seemed like a valuable skill."

"Did Iroh teach you?"

He snorted at the thought. "He makes tea."

"Your father?"

"No." He set the glass down beside her. "I should get back to work."

.

_She stood in his door way dressed in a crimson silk dress their father had bought her days before. "Zuko?"_

_He looked up from his textbook. "What do you want?"_

_There were bruises on her knees. "Can I stay here for a little while? Father is getting very upset right now." She grasped onto the door knob pleadingly. _

"_Just don't be loud. I have to study for tomorrow."_

_Azula shut the door softly behind her as she went to sit on his be. "What are you studying for?" She swung her legs back and forth, looking at the dark bruises intently. "History again? I thought you had a history test already."_

_He rocked his chair back on two legs. "It's for math. Father expects me to have memorised these equations by tomorrow morning." _

"_How many do you have memorised?" _

"_Out of twenty?"_

_Azula bit her lip. "Yeah."_

"_None." Zuko groaned. _

_She winced. _

_There was a knock on his door. Azula's eyes widened before she slid down beneath his bed, giving Zuko an insistent glance._

_The door flung open. _

"_Where is your sister?" His father leered at him, dark eyes glinting from the shadows of the hallway. Zuko felt his heart pound. _

_The bruises on Azula's knees looked like the bruises on his mother's knees. _

"_I don't know." _

_._

The sky had grown dark by the time he fixed all twenty steps. He could smell saw dust and sweat as he cracked his spine. They looked safer now, less likely to break down due to rot. He felt satisfied, surveying his handiwork.

Zuko knocked on her door quietly.

It opened slowly. "Zuko?"

"Hey." He rubbed the back of his neck. "The stairs are done now. I thought you should know. I'll be back later to fix your railing tomorrow."

Toph smiled at him. "Thank you. I've been wondering lately how long they would have lasted before breaking or something."

"You're welcome."

.

He was packing up his tools when she slowly came down the stairs, stepping carefully on each one. "I have a question for you."

"What?"

Toph put her hands on her hips, tilting her head up slightly. Her eyes looked at him. "A friend from my class gave me two tickets to go hear some band. He couldn't go and neither could his girlfriend. I just wanted to know if you would come with me."

"Sure."

.

"I want to give you my number. In case you ever need my help."

Toph glared at Zuko. "I don't need help."

"Fine." He raised his hands slightly. "If you ever want my help."

She dug her phone out and handed it to him.

The braille buttons threw him off.

"How about I tell you my number instead."

Toph smirked.

.

"_Thank you," Azula whispered, her eyes avoiding the bruises on his face. _

_._

Zuko handed Sokka the tool belt. "Thanks."

"You need anything else for your project?"

"I need to fix a railing. I can grab the stuff tomorrow early."

"Is she cute?"

Zuko stared at him dumbly. "Who are you talking about?"

"The girl you're trying to impress." Sokka grinned at him. "You've got a bounce in your step, you know. Also, you aren't being nearly as anti-social as you usually are. Which is impressive. Really." He threw the belt in the truck. "I think it is absolutely adorable."

"Shut up."

Sokka rolled his eyes. "Seriously. Is she cute?"

"She asked me to go see a concert with her." Zuko relented. "On Friday."

"On Friday? Like, the day before Saturday? Fridays are universal date nights." Sokka flashed him a thumbs up. "You are in, man."

"You need to stop."

"You need to tell me the details."

.

Zuko found a picture beneath his door in the morning.

He felt sick.

It was a picture of Azula as a child sleeping with her silk dress pulled up to her waist, hand print bruises black against her pale legs.

.


	6. dusk

.

infinite

.

"_It's such a liability to love another person."_

.

And essay is still not done, but it's getting there.

I feel the need to just say that most chapters are going to contain mature content at this point. So I can stop repeating myself.

Zuko's back story is kind of simple in a way, compared to Toph's. It is taking me a while to rip it apart into smaller pieces to build up towards the end of the flashbacks. So this story will probably be a bit longer than the original planned ten chapters. I have really no idea how far this is going to go.

Enjoy.

(I really hope nobody expected this date to go well. Happiness will not happen for a while more.)

.

_dusk_

.

Toph grinned, searching through her closet slowly. Her hands felt each hanger, grasping the fabrics carefully. "Dress, dress. Where are you?" She found it tucked away in the very back behind a few of her heavy sweaters. "Caught you."

Her music played softly behind her, volume turned low.

The sundress was simple, one that Katara had bought her a month ago. She had claimed it was a plain green colour with no embellishments. Toph bit her lip as she put it down on her bed, running her hand over the skirt. "Someone's getting excited."

"Shut up," she tossed over her shoulder to Suki. "I dealt with your girly crap when you started going out with Meathead."

Toph could hear the rustle as she stood up from the chair. "Whatever. I think it's nice that you're meeting someone." There was a pause as Suki came over beside her. "Are you ever going to tell me his name?"

"Nope. Anyways," She sat down on the bed next to the dress carefully. "I wanted to ask you if you'd do me a favour. I'd do it myself, but I don't think it would look right."

Suki rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

"Cut my hair."

.

It was a slow process, Suki cutting away her long, thick hair.

She had expected it to hurt, in a way. Like saying good bye to part of herself.

It didn't.

.

_The maids were pinning her hair up tight with an ornamental pearl clip. "You've always had such lovely hair, Toph." The older one sighed from behind her, running her hand over it. "So lovely to play with."_

"_Is she ready?" Her mother demanded from the doorway. "Kuei is growing impatient. He hasn't seen her since she was a child."_

_Her voice sounded thin, as if she was trying to conceal the reality from the maids. _

_Toph knew though. _

_She flinched at the memory of his hands. _

"_She is nearly. Just needs the finishing touch. Jasmine perfume will always make a good impression." The younger maid dabbed her neck with a cloth before touching her wrists in similar manner. "I think we are done with her."_

_The smell of it made her want to throw up. _

"_Good. She looks as fine as she'll ever look, I suppose." Her mother grabbed her wrist tightly. "Hurry up. Your father is waiting. _Kuei_ is waiting for you." Her grip was crushing her wrist, making Toph bite her lip. "You should feel honored that he wishes to bestow his affection on you, you know. Damaged as you are. He is a good man. You will be very lucky."_

_The hallway felt like it stretched on forever as they walked on, her mother holding her arm like a vice. _

_Finally though the doors swung open and they entered the sitting room. The candles were already lit; she could smell the perfumed scents hang in the air thickly. The maids had been whispering earlier that her father had changed the traditional white candles of the room with red. _

_Red was a colour that meant passion, her mother had once told her. _

_It smelt like cinnamon, she noticed as she got down on her knees. "Master Kuei." Toph greeted him. _

_._

"What do you think?" Suki asked Toph as she set the scissors down on the table.

"I think it looks great!" She chirped, grinning as she felt the shortness of her hair. It brushed against her chin lightly and for the first time she felt liberated from the weight. "My hair has never looked better."

Suki jabbed her in the shoulders. "I'm not Sokka. I don't fall for that. Anyways, where is your broom?"

"In the closet in the hall. Thank you, by the way."

"Don't mention it." Toph listened as Suki opened the door. "What band are you seeing anyways? Aang listens to all that Indie stuff."

She shrugged. "The Flamey-Os? I don't really know, to be honest."

"If it sucks what do you do?"

Toph grimaced. "This isn't helping."

.

"_You look best on your knees, Toph." Kuei mused from above her. _

_. _

Zuko knocked awkwardly on her door.

Toph wiped her palms against her dress and tried to lower her heart rate.

"You're early." She greeted him as she opened the door for him. After tucking the collapsible cane into her purse she ensured that the door was closed securely and locked. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

He let her place her hand on his arm. "I don't think I've been to a concert before." Toph mused, tilting her head back to feel to last few sunrays across her face.

"Never?"

"No. Have you?"

"A few." They walked in silence down the street together towards the bus stop. "You cut your hair."

"Does it look bad?" Her free hand went up to her freshly cut hair, feeling the ends awkwardly. "I had my friend cut it today. It was so heavy, I hadn't even realized until it was gone."

"No." Zuko looked away from her hair. "It looks fine."

Toph nodded. "Good."

.

The music sounded bright. They had seats further away from the stage, which was fine. Less people crowded them and Toph had no real desire getting closer to the nearly overwhelming waves of music. Zuko didn't mind the music completely, but preferred his Uncle's collection of classical records.

Toph listened to a mixture of everything, and accepted the band for the most part. Their lyrics were ridden with endless clichés and traditional meanings, but they weren't bad, she decided.

The music was constant, sharp and vibrant. From the stage flashed bright lights over the crowd, and for a few seconds she saw bursts of _something_.

.

"What did you think?" She rubbed her arms briskly as the left the building. She flinched as someone brushed against her roughly. "Did you like them?"

Zuko shrugged. "They were okay." He directed her down the few stairs of the entrance.

He was being quiet, she realized.

The fresh air was cold against her face. It made her feel awake and alert, despite her hearing sounding muddled from the loudness of the concert. "I thought they were good." She said awkwardly, stepping away from Zuko.

"Are you hungry or something?" Zuko asked suddenly, arms pinned to his sides. "Want to get a drink?"

Toph grinned at him. "Sure. Jasmine Dragon? Or do you have something in mind?"

"Someplace else."

"Lead on then, Hothead."

.

They sat down at a booth inside New Republic with two hot mugs placed carefully in front of them. "Are you okay? You're being quiet tonight." Toph crossed her ankles idly as she touched the handle of her mug. It was hot to the touch, making her withdraw her hand.

"I'm fine."

She could smell the sharpness of his coffee, unsweetened and left black. It was bitter in the space between them, blending with the softer scent of her hot chocolate.

"So what do you do in the day? You pick up shifts at night for Iroh, and apparently fix my stairs." She cautiously touched her mug. It was still hot, but not unpleasantly slow.

"I do odd jobs."

Toph cocked her head slightly. "Are you from the city?"

"No. I came from the coast."

"I just moved her almost a year ago, actually." Toph said awkwardly, feeling hesitant at his short responses. "I lived up North. So why'd you move here?"

There was a loud silence for a few minutes.

"Iroh."

She tapped her foot. "How old are you, anyways?"

Again, he paused. "Old enough."

She felt her frustration grow.

Toph sighed. "You're not fine. What's up with you tonight?"

Zuko's mug hit the surface of the table loudly. She flinched at the noise of it. "You can't see. What's your point?"

"The hell?" She frowned at him, straightening in her seat. "What's wrong with you?" His sharp remark had come out of nowhere, but it still stung. _You can't see. _

"I don't want your entire back story. I don't want to give you my story. I just want to be left alone." Zuko ground out at her, his hands tightening around his mug despite the heat. "I don't need to baby sit you."

Toph grabbed her purse from beside her and tightened her grip on the strap. "I'm not asking for somebody to mind me. I just asked you to come see a concert with me and hang out for a bit. I'm not your problem at all. Really. I have no desire to be." She stood up from the table. "I'll leave you alone, gladly."

.

_Toph was a child when they first met, his wandering touch over her bare skin. _

"_She'll suit me just fine." Kuei informed her parents gleefully. _

_He pressed his lips to her own and she tasted death. _

_. _

"Toph!" He shouted as she stood on the stairs rummaging around for her key. Zuko looked up the stairs at her.

She spun around to face him, her dress flaring out. "What?"

He placed his hand on the now smoothed railing. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." He rubbed his forehead. "I don't know why I said that."

"I don't really care, Zuko. Just go away." She took a step back and kicked something across the landing. She frowned, bending and searching for it. Her hands bumped against it first, but she picked it up carefully. It was a rectangular box with rough edges.

Zuko quietly went up the stairs towards her, looking intently at the box.

"Is that a thing of matches?"

She dropped the box as if it had burnt her, stumbling backwards.

"What did you just say?" She whispered; her hand grasping hold onto the rail. "What was that?"

Zuko picked it up. "It's a box of matches. Did you leave them here?"

Toph fumbled for the box in his grip, her fingers prying open the side and pulling out a handful of matches. "No. No, no." she whispered, flinging the box away. "No. He can't know. How can he?"

She hurled herself forward and into her apartment and locked the door behind her, trying not to scream.

.

_The match in her hand felt heavy. _

_._

Her phone rang several times in the night, each call from Zuko.

She declined all several calls.

.

_She could hear them screaming, choking on the smoke. _

_. _

_What the flames must looked like, she wondered as she crumpled up on the floor. What the smoke must have looked like, thick and heavy against her chest. _

_It probably would have looked like freedom, Toph decided as she closed her eyes. _

_. _


	7. eve

.

infinite

.

"_It was only natural to want to destroy something you could never have."_

.

So, the essay is done. Which is nice. One thing off my plate. At the moment it appears I am caught up in my homework, which is an odd feeling. So I can gleefully type away at things not history related. I feel so relieved that I am no longer looking at history books.

(I'm not going to complain, though.)

(I'm a horrible history major.)

Also, the time line. Because I never really thought it out before. And I realized I really should have thought it out just a little bit. So, here we go.

Monday was when Iroh and Zuko talked on the phone, and Zuko fixed her stairs. Tuesday was the funeral which was when Zuko also fixed Toph's railing. Friday was the concert.

Moving on.

.

_eve_

.

Another picture was beneath his door.

Toph working alone in the art studio, taken only days ago when her hair had been longer. She was bent over the table, the image showing her from behind.

He wanted to scream.

.

The Jasmine Dragon was emptied that night, tables wiped down and glossy in the bright lighting. His music was playing through the speakers, an endless loop of Mozart. The music wasn't making him feel any calmer though, and instead he became more and more restless. Zuko drummed him fingers on the countertop and then paced the room as he tried to force his anxiety to ease away.

Outside the café the city seemed brighter than usual. The lights of towering apartment buildings gleamed in the sprawl of the night, streets turned into a river of motion from people moving through.

Zuko opened a canister of green tea and breathed deeply the way he'd seen his Uncle do whenever he had gotten frustrated.

It didn't work.

Zuko leaned his forehead against the window by the cash, peering out at the streets.

He could see her walking down the lane from a distance away.

Guilt seized him.

"_You can't see. What's your point?"_

He remembered finding the picture of Azula. Toph's insistent stream of conversation. He remembered spitting out frustrated words at her, trying to get her to just _stop_ talking. Zuko flinched as he recalled how his comment had struck her.

And he had kept going.

"_I just want to be left alone."_

He smashed his hand down on the counter.

His hand screamed from the self-abuse, but it made his thoughts easier to process.

Zuko came to the realization as he watched her walk past the Jasmine Dragon with her cane clacking against the pavement that he was tired of being alone.

.

Zuko threw himself down on his bed, burying his face into his pillow. The sun streamed brightly from the windows, making the dark wood floor look glossy. Despite the sun, the temperature was sinking low again. He flopped over onto his back and looked towards the coat rack by the door where he'd thrown his gloves and scarf over sloppily.

He glared at them.

The door knocked loudly.

Slowly Zuko got to his feet, his knees protesting as he stood up from the bed and walked towards the door, opening it slowly.

Mai glared at him.

Her pale face looked even paler than usual. Her dark eyes looked red and swollen.

"You never went to the funeral." She crossed her arms, making him draw back a step. She kept usually a knife inside her sleeve usually, and another once tucked away within her boot. "I told you when it was and you never came."

He frowned.

"I told you I wasn't going."

Mai scowled at him. "You should have been there. Where were you?"

Zuko bit his tongue. He'd been fixing Toph's railing for her that day, blatantly ignoring Mai's persistent calling. "I was working."

"Azula died. What do you not understand about the fact that she died?" She threw her hands up. "God, Zuko. Everyone went. Iroh went alone, Ty-Lee had come. Even your father's friend came."

His hand clenched around the doorknob tightly and painfully. "She's been dead for years."

Mai shut her eyes as she schooled her bitter and resentful expression into a neutral one. He sighed. He could talk to an emotionless Mai better than he could when she was actually feeling _something_. "Explain." She demanded dryly, cutting into him with a single word.

"Her father turned her into a monster. She stopped being my sister a long time ago." Zuko retreated further into his cheap apartment, scowling at the clutter around him. Mai followed him in. "Do you remember that night she almost killed me?"

"Azula wasn't well, Zuko. Surely you could understand that better than anyone else."

Zuko grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. He silently offered her one which she turned down. "Ozai told her to drown me." He twisted the cap open but didn't drink it. "Our mother stopped her, and I never saw her again. Azula went mental, and then he disowned me."

Mai looked at her feet.

Zuko went on, setting the bottle of water down on the counter beside him. "A year after he disowned me, he died. Azula went away to be helped, but she was too far gone. You don't get fixed after all those years of torture." His lips twisted into a sneer. "Do you even know how he died?"

"No."

"She electrocuted him."

.

_She was kneeling behind the bushes by the fish pond, her hair pinned up elaborately. "Azula?" He called out to her, wandering closer. "Mother's been looking for you." _

_Azula shrugged, twisting around to look at him. "I know." _

_._

"I found this in my car after the funeral."

Mai handed him a package, his name scribbled on the top of the small box in familiar writing_._ His heart clenched.

"It's the reason why I came. Anyways, I need to go." She gave him a long look before she left, slamming the door behind her.

Her perfume still hung in the air, sweet and sharp. Zuko opened a window almost violently before opening the paper wrappings of the box. His eyes widened at the sight of a music box with a phoenix engraving on the lid.

Zuko slowly lifted the lid, quiet music drifting out lazily.

He remembered this.

He remembered Azula dancing at night down the hallways to the melody, her feet sliding over the marble entrance way. The way she had opened the box the first time. How Azula traced the engraving over and over again.

Inside was a picture of her against a wall naked.

.

"Toph doesn't seem to come in anymore." Iroh mused as he wiped down the tables.

Zuko shrugged. It had been five days since Friday.

Iroh straightened his back, tossing the rag onto the table top. "Have you talked to her lately? I'm concerned for her wellbeing. She looks so tired these days."

"No."

"Maybe you should go visit her tonight, and see how she is feeling." His Uncle slid into a chair. "She hasn't been in lately for her evening tea."

"She comes in late." Zuko mentioned awkwardly, grabbing the broom from the back.

Iroh chuckled. "She feels uneasy when around people. Toph has a belief that she should be made out of stone. She tends to go late when most consumers of tea have already departed."

He cringed.

"_You can't see. What's your point?"_

"How are you doing these days, Nephew?"

"Fine."

Iroh got up from the chair and went to the large shelf where the canisters of tea were kept. "I do not believe in that answer. Sit down, sit down. I will make a nice soothing cup of jasmine tea for you."

Zuko allowed himself to be directed to the counter where Meng usually occupied. He watched his Uncle go through the motions as he boiled the water and steeping the tea leaves. "You've been very uneasy as of late. What is going on in your mind?"

Zuko rested his chin on his palm, looking intently into the cup. "Nothing."

"You're concerning me."

He looked up and stared intently at his Uncle. "Don't be."

Iroh gave him a slight smile. "When someone cares deeply for you, there is nothing you can do to sway them from considering your wellbeing." He took a sip from his tea. "Tell me, how have you been?"

Thousands of words were tangled up in his mind, knotting together like barbwire.

"Mai saw me a few days ago."

"Ah," Iroh stood from his chair and took out a tray of spirit cakes from the display case. "I feel like this conversation of ours will require something sweet to numb the negativity. They say that no matter how many spirit cakes you eat, you'll never gain a thing."

Zuko gave him a thin smile as he took the offered plate.

"How was Mai's visit?"

"She didn't stab me."

Iroh chuckled. "That is progress. I remember the day I first met her." His light mood began to waver. "She and your sister were rather good friends."

"Yeah."

"What did Mai have to say?"

Zuko frowned. "Nothing really."

His Uncle touched his tea cup slightly. "Is there anything bothering you?"

_Picture of his sister as a child naked. Toph's face after discovering the matches. The glint of a knife tucked away in Mai's boot. A music box left for him. _

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

.

_He came closer to her, looking over her shoulder. Azula grasped his knife that Iroh had given him a year ago and plunged it into the soft stomach of the rabbit. _

"_Stop it! What are you doing it?" Zuko grabbed her wrist. She gazed at him with heavy eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Azula!"_

_She had blood on her hands. _

"_I'm doing what Father does to Mother." _

_._

Iroh was gone, leaving him alone in the Jasmine Dragon. He kept watch out the window, waiting for Toph to arrive.

When Zuko did catch sight of her walking down the street he flung himself out the door, barely shutting the lights off and locking the door. He waited, wrapping the black scarf his Uncle had given him around his neck securely. The clack of the cane sweeping from right to left sound almost reassuring in the still night. "Toph." He called as she drew neared.

Toph froze for a second, the rhythm of her walking cane faltering. "Zuko." Toph greeted simply as she kept walking.

"Can we talk?"

"From what I've learned, you don't do talking well."

He tried to grab her arm but she pushed him off her. "Toph, please."

"I'm sorry. I can't see. What is your point?" She raised an eyebrow. "I need to go home."

Zuko looked up at the bronze sky, looking like velvet above the towering buildings. "I'll walk you."

"I'd rather you not. I don't need you to babysit me or anything."

"Toph, I'm sorry."

Her pale green eyes looked towards him. "I don't care. Just leave me alone."

She turned around and began to walk away, her shoulders pulled back.

"He's leaving me pictures as well, Toph."

Toph dropped her cane. "What?"

Zuko bent down to pick it up but kept a hold of it. "I've had pictures left for me, the way he was leaving them for you."

"What are the pictures of?"

"Myself." Zuko lied quickly. "Someone has been leaving them beneath my door for me."

A truck went flying by them, music blaring loudly.

.

"_Are you going to tell Mother?" Azula frowned at him, running her hand over the rabbit in front of her. "I don't suppose she'll understand my action."_

_._

"Can you leave me alone?" Toph whispered. "I can't deal with this right now. This guy knows about me. He knows about everything, it seems. I just want to be left alone."

"What do the matches mean?"

Toph frowned. "I don't want to talk about it."

Zuko touched her wrist. "Let me walk you home. Please."

"I can take care of myself." Toph took a step back. "I don't need you to walk me home like a child."

"I know."

"I want my cane."

.

"Is there anything on my door?" Toph asked him through clenched teeth. Zuko sighed, looking at the envelope taped to the little window.

"No."

She forced her key through the lock. "Thank you for the escort."

"Come in for tea sometime. My Uncle misses you."

She twisted her body slightly, looking towards him. "I might."

Zuko waited for the door to shut before ripping off the envelope and shoving it in his pocket.

.

_Kuei wants you._

An image of Toph sitting at the counter inside the Jasmine Dragon. She was grinning at him, clasping a cup of tea within her teas.

The photo had been taken through the glass window, a ghost of a reflection distorting the image slightly.

A dark, hazed figure glared back at him.

.


	8. daybreak

.

_infinite _

.

"_The pearls weren't really white, they were a warm oyster beige, with little knots in between so if they broke, you only lost one."_

_. _

I'm back at school now, which means new chapters won't be as frequent. I'm aiming for at least once a week though. So far though I'm going to push this story to twenty chapters. That is my goal for now.

Some asked me if Zuko and Toph were being stalked by different people, and yes. Kind of. It is two people whom are working together. At the moment it is the one person, but later the second person will be added into it. One villain comes from Zuko's past, and the other comes from Toph's past. And it is fairly obvious whom is going to be Toph's villain. I haven't really disguised it well.

Toph's main villain won't be coming in for a bit longer, though. Right now it is just Zuko's person mainly stalking the two. Toph's person is directing Zuko's villain. (I cannot explain this well at all. I am so sorry.)

(I'm also totally enjoying them having friends in separate circles but nobody knowing that they know each other.)

Also- ages. Toph is nineteen, Zuko is twenty five.

.

Heads up. Language and the dark childhood flashbacks as before.

.

_daybreak_

.

Part of her feels hurt, and she doesn't want to feel hurt anymore. She's tired of wandering around raw and open, like all she's doing is just rubbing salt on an open wound. She doesn't want to be anywhere close to him anymore because she hates how he broke her apart with three stupidly simple words.

_You can't see. _

She hates the way they hurt, and how they meant nothing to him.

It doesn't matter because it shouldn't matter. She should be stronger than this. She doesn't want to be trailing around after him because she simply won't.

She is stronger than this.

(right?)

.

"How's your foot?" Aang asks her as he opened the door to his home. She could smell the faint scent of perfume lingering in the air.

She slipped her jacket off and groped for the coat rack to the right of the door. "Just fine, Twinkle Toes. Katara here?" Grinning when she found it, she quickly slung the collar of the jacket onto the metal hook. "Or did I miss her?"

"Just missed her by minutes. Katara had a history paper to write and the library was closing early tonight."

Toph grinned. "Or she's avoiding me and you're just too nice to say anything about it."

"Funny. No, this paper is stressing her out. It's on the Inuit and her professor isn't making the essay easy on her. He changed the due date by making it a week earlier, which really sucks." Aang clarified, pulling her into the house.

Something furry assaulted her ankles.

Toph stumbled as Momo began rubbing against her legs, Aang grabbing her arm securely. "Bad cat!" He snapped, crouching to pick the affectionate cat up in his arms. "Sorry. Momo is being crazy lately." Aang guided her towards the living room. "I rearranged things a little in here, by the way."

"Define a little." Toph spoke wryly as she slid into the armchair.

"Sokka might have done it while I was in class." Aang grabbed the tea pot from the coffee table and carefully poured two cups. "He needs a hobby." He smirked as she bent to scratch behind Momo's abnormally large ears. "Or Suki needs to occupy him just a little bit more."

Toph could smell the blend of peppermint. "How's your art assignment going?"

"Slow. One of my cups exploded in the kiln."

Toph frowned at him. "You didn't get rid of the air pockets properly."

"I know that now."

"Are you redoing it?"

Aang passed her the cup. "I'll have to redo it soon. I'll be one short if I don't." He looked around the room, papers strewn around and covered with various sketches partially completed. "How was the concert?"

Toph's smile tightened. "It was good."

"You take someone with you? Sokka?"

"I took someone I had met a few weeks ago with me. The music was really good." She winced hot tea burnt her tongue. "How has work been?"

Aang frowned. "Who did you take with you?"

"I just told you. Someone I met a little while ago." Toph exhaled sharply.

"No, you aren't telling me. Was it a guy?"

"I'd be concerned if he wasn't."

He snorted. "What's his name?"

"That would be telling."

.

Her phone rang.

"Hello?"

There was a silence.

"Who is this?"

She heard a click before the line went dead.

.

_He tasted like coffee, she realized. It left her mouth feeling bitter and burnt. She bowed her head obediently as he released his painfully tight grip on her wrists. "You are such a good girl. Most girls would be crying." He paused, running his fingers through her long hair. "You don't cry though, Toph. Why is that?"_

_She remained silent. _

_Kuei yanked sharply on her hair._

"_Answer me, little girl."_

"_I don't know." Toph whispered, her heart pounding in her chest. "I'm sorry, Master Kuei."_

"_I will make you cry one day, you know. Rip your chest open and pull out your spine. Tie strings to your body and make you dance for my pleasure. One day you will cry for me."_

_Hatred was burning within her._

_. _

Toph cautiously entered the Jasmine Dragon, her hand lingering on the cold metal handle of the door briefly.

It sounded quiet within the café, she decided as she pulled off her scarf. She couldn't hear any movements from the back tables, and all she could really detect was someone working behind the counter.

Toph maneuvered her way through the path of chairs and tables towards the counter as she folded her cane up. "Iroh?" She asked hopefully as she sat into a chair.

There was a pause. A hesitant silence. "Zuko."

She drew her shoulders back as she unzipped her jacket. "Just an Earl Grey to go please."

"If you wait half an hour I can walk you back."

"I'm fine."

Toph cocked her head as she heard a snort. "So you're nice and friendly to her."

"Shut up Meng."

"I'll tell your Uncle that you're being rude to customers."

"Knock yourself out." Zuko paused as he grabbed the canister. "Or, you know, just find somewhere else to read your idiotic book."

"It is not idiotic! It's about true love!" Meng defended her book. "Like you don't love anyone."

"I don't believe in love." Zuko's voice sounded tense.

"Please. Everyone loves someone. Even she does, right?"

"I don't." Toph shrugged her shoulders, as she dug into her pockets searching for change. She flinched as she heard Meng get up angrily and storm out, slamming the door behind her. "What the hell is she even reading?"

"Those stupid Twilight books. She reads them over and over again."

Toph grimaced. "Aang's girlfriend used to be really into those books. Thankfully that was just a phrase. Apparently she was set to order me a braille set for Christmas last year, though Aang managed to talk her out of that."

"Her name Katara?"

She shrugged her shoulders as she began checking her jean pockets. "Yeah. Why?"

"I'm friends with her brother."

"Cool." She announced before standing up. "I forgot my wallet back home. I'm sorry."

He set her tea on the counter between them. "Make you a deal. You stay here and let me walk you back, and don't worry about it."

"I don't need you to look after me."

"I know."

Toph reluctantly sat back down in the chair. "You really don't have to walk me. I can do so perfectly well. I've been doing it for a couple years, anyways."

"I'm sorry."

She pressed her hands against the smoothed arms of the chair, finger nails digging into the wood. "You were right. Why the fuck are you saying sorry? I can't see. It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't matter if you can't see. I don't even know why I said that." Zuko leaned against the counter, bracing himself as he looked directly at her. Her skin had grown paler, if even possible. Her clothes seemed to hang off her, as if she'd stopped eating. Something about her looked harder. Like she was turning to marble. "I'm sorry, Toph."

"It's fine." She touched her tea carefully, feeling the heat. "Like I said. It doesn't even matter."

.

"_I bought you, you know." He said, sounding smug from where he sat. "Your body is mine. All your thoughts are mine. You are mine." _

"_Yes, Master Kuei."_

"_Come closer."_

_She slowly edged closer to the seat, wandering blindly towards his voice. _

"_I bought you a present."_

"_Thank you, Master Kuei." _

"_Get down on your knees."_

.

"What the fuck is this?" Zuko seethed, grabbing the collar from where it sat directly in front of her door. "Who the fuck is doing this?"

Toph felt her heart twist. "What is it?" She could smell the faint trace of cigarette smoke remaining in the air.

_Not matches not matches not matches please not matches-_

"It's a fucking collar."

She held her hands out, and flinched at the touch of leather against her skin. Twisting it around, she began searching for the metal engraving. "What does it say?"

"Kuei."

.

"_This is your place."_

_He pressed her against the wall. _

"_This will always be your place."_

_Harder and harder and harder. _

"_You belong to me now."_

.

"Who is Kuei?" Zuko demanded, grabbing her arm. "Who the fuck is he? I swear to God if you don't tell me I'm calling the police. I should call the police." He snatched the key away from her and forced the door open himself. "Get your stuff. You're coming with me."

Toph dug her heels in. "The police won't do anything. He's already bought them at this point, and if he hasn't, he will. And where the hell do you think you're taking me?"

"You are going to pack your things and then come with me. You aren't staying here."

"I pay rent here. I'm not leaving. Stop acting like this."

"He's fucking leaving you a collar. This isn't normal!" Zuko raged as he went further down the hallway before stopping. "Oh god."

Toph ran into him. "What?" She snapped.

He swallowed, turning towards her. "They're pictures of you. When you were younger, I think. Are you wearing the collar in these?" His words seemed tangled up, caught in a swirl of anger.

Zuko gazed at the endless pictures taped to her bedroom door. Images of her on her knees or against a wall, eyes gazing into nothing.

"Does it look like it? How the fuck would I know?" She demanded, her hand clenching around the collar tightly. The leather bit into her palm, but she just gripped it tighter. "Just stop, Zuko."

_He found her he found her how could he find her again?_

"Pack your things, Toph. I'm taking you to my place." Zuko informed her, opening the door and propelling her in. "Just come for the night. We'll figure something out in the morning."

Toph swallowed, moving towards her closet and opening the door slowly. Zuko passed her a bag.

Running her hands along the hangers she felt for her sweater and a pair of jeans. "Can you get my wallet? I think it should be on my dresser."

"Got it."

Grabbing the necessary items from her dresser drawers she nodded her head. "I'm good."

Zuko grabbed her by the hand and pulled her out the door.

.

"Who is Kuei, Toph?" Zuko demanded the moment she sat down on his couch, her head in her hands.

Toph shut her eyes. Words tangled together in her mind. "He was-" she faltered for a moment. "a close friend of my father."

Zuko sat down on the coffee table, leaning towards her. "The collar. What the hell was the collar doing outside your door?"

Toph shrugged. "Same reason for the other things. To scare me."

"You were wearing that collar in those pictures. You-you were being violated." The images were blurring into the photos of Azula.

Toph scowled. "You should have left me alone!"

"What is it about the matches that scare you? I saw your face when you got that box of matches, Toph. What is it?"

"I can't tell you."

.

_Toph screamed as the hot metal touched her flesh, trying to jerk away from the blistering torture. She screwed her eyes tight, trying not to let the tears fall._

_._

"Tell me."

"No!" She snapped at him, her hands blindly shoving against his shoulders. "I will not tell you."

Zuko grabbed her hands easily, pushing her back down onto the couch. "Alright. Then tell me exactly what Kuei did to you."

Toph bit her lip. "Let me up."

"You're not running away."

"Let me stand up."

.

"_You're mine." _

_She began to cry._

_._

She lifted her shirt carefully, her fingers feeling for the mark on her hip.

"This is what Kuei did to me."

_._

_Fire was everywhere. _

_._

His initials were burnt into her skin.

"He bought me." Toph shrugged, letting the shirt fall back down. "There are things I cannot tell you. But what you can know is that he was going to marry me. I was sixteen when I escaped from my family."

.

_The sirens wailed into the night. _

_._

"Your parents sold you?"

"Yeah." She shrugged. "It was a big case a few years back. The Bei Fong case. The government weren't really hush hush about everything, so it's easy to understand how Kuei found me."

.

_Her mother kept screaming. _

_. _

Zuko shut his eyes. "He tried to ruin you, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"He didn't do a very good job then."

.

"_You're a survivor," the nurse informed her quietly. _

_._

"Thank you," Toph whispered.


	9. nightfall

.

infinite

.

"_Don't cherish anything. Burn it. The artist is the phoenix who burns to emerge."_

.

I wrote this chapter long before I actually started this story. I've had this idea for a while, and I've been really excited writing out this story. I've enjoyed playing around with the characters and putting them in horrible situations, which have gotten a little bit mature, subject wise.

It hadn't been my intention to make this story so disturbing, but flash backs evolved nicely into revealing disturbing backgrounds. What are you going to do, other than roll with it?

I've worked very hard at keeping the personalities of these characters realistic. It's a losing battle, at this rate. And yo, it's going to be more mature subject matter coming up. (Is anyone shocked at this point?) So, don't read if you're sensitive.

Andddd this is when we finally learn who has been stalking Zuko and Toph for this section of the story. I mentioned his name like twice so far very briefly, but I'm surprised no one picked up on it since I used him as the villain last time.

This was actually two chapters separate that I meshed. First perspective will be Zuko focused, but it'll switch half ways through.

So, very long chapter. This will have to make up for the most likely delayed next update.

.

_nightfall_

.

.

Zuko looked over at Toph sleeping for a moment, burrowed beneath his blankets. He had refused to let her take the couch, remembering just how awkward it had been to sleep on it once. The sky outside the windows was beginning to lighten, the sun slowly rising.

He grabbed his laptop from the desk, sighing at the loud whirring noise that came instantly when he pressed the on button. Zuko tapped his fingers anxiously against the surface of the desk as the start logo appeared briefly and straightened up in his chair once the menu appeared on the screen.

His fingers flew over the keyboard.

The Bei Fong Case.

Results instantly began to line up on his screen. Various articles and images along with court records were piling up. "Shit." He grimaced, narrowing in on a picture of a burnt out house.

_Two Survivors._

He stared at the headline blankly.

Within seconds he was creating new tabs and opening various documents, scanning through each one rapidly as he gained a bigger idea of what Toph had meant by how known it had been.

She was barely sixteen when they pulled her body out of the burning blaze along with her mother. Half the house was destroyed from the fire alone, crumbling down. Images showed various angles of the monstrous buildings burnt out.

.

_Zhao grinned at him from the shadows of the house, his hand resting on Azula's shoulder. "Come along, Princess. Show me what your father has taught you."_

.

"I don't want you going back there." Zuko told her as he cracked two eggs into a bowl. "You can stay here."

Toph sighed. "I'm not staying here. I have a lease and a rent. I'm not just going to move out. All my stuff is over there, anyways. I'm not going to just up and leave."

"He was in your house." He glared at her as he began whisking the eggs violently.

"It doesn't matter anymore." Toph leaned her elbows against the countertop. "He was always going to come back."

He slammed the bowl down onto the counter. "What does that even mean?"

"It means that this was always going to happen." Her words sounded like ice. Like they weren't even her own anymore. "You read the articles, didn't you? After the fire, Kuei went missing. He left because of the fact that the world was watching me. He would have never been able to take me out of the hospital. He wasn't stupid. I'm surprised Kuei even waited this long though." There was something hollow in her stance, as if she was slowly crumbling apart.

"You've had three years of freedom."

"Yeah." Toph tugged at the sleeve of her sweater anxiously as he towered over her.

"You're not even going to fight for it?"

She jabbed him hard in the chest suddenly, anger sparking. "What the hell do you think I'm going to do? I will not run away and hide here. If Kuei wants me, he'll fucking come and take me. I'll fight him though. I'll fight him until he kills me. I'm not going to hide anymore, Zuko." She poked him lightly. "I've been hiding for almost three years now, and he found me."

Toph cocked her head slightly at him. Zuko stepped away from her and moved closer towards the stove. "I can fight him." He told her quietly.

"It doesn't matter!" She shouted at him, erupting into angry words strung together like his mother's pearl necklace. "It doesn't matter what you do because he's waiting. He's going to take me back. Kuei _bought_ me. You don't even understand, Zuko. There is nothing you can do that will protect me from him. This isn't even your fight."

"I'm not going to let you fight alone."

She frowned, thrown off. "What do you mean?"

Zuko shook his head. "You've been fighting alone for years. I'm not going to let you fight alone anymore."

Toph gave him a thin smile. "I'm better at being alone."

He jabbed her in the shoulder. "No you aren't. You come in after classes at night to talk to my Uncle. You go classes filled with people in the day. You look for people, whether you've realized it or not."

"You don't know anything about me." She crossed her arms tightly, stepping away from him.

Zuko remembered the hot day and sitting on the steps with her.

"You're an art student because you can see through touch." He paused. "You also do it because your father hated it."

There was a long pause between them before she eventually let her arms relax and tilted her chin up. "Maybe you do listen."

He snorted.

.

_Zuko watched from behind the drapes, Azula pressed up against his side eagerly. Their father's office was brightly lit, and they peered out from the slits of the drapes at their father shaking hands with another man in front of his desk. "It'll be nice working with you." Oazi smiled thinly at the stranger. "We'll set up a meeting in the afternoon tomorrow."_

"_Does three work for you?"_

"_Three will be perfect, Kuei. We can work out a deal then."_

.

He tore off the photos from her door, ripping them apart. Her face ghosted at him from the pile torn to shreds. Her eyes and her bared shoulders standing out against green silk backdrops. "How many were there?" Toph asked quietly.

Zuko yanked off another handful. He sighed as he noticed the strips of paint he was removing. "Just a dozen." More than a dozen, he realized as he looked down at the remains scattered at his feet. "I'm almost done."

"What are you going to do with them?"

He paused. "I don't know."

She shrugged. "Could you burn them? If you could or something?"

"You want them burned?"

Toph nodded.

"I'll burn them tonight."

She stood there awkwardly in the hallway. "Zuko?"

"What?"

"How much about the fire did you read?" Her hand reached out to touch the wall. "Did you read the parts about my mother and father?" She spoke quietly, leaning away from Zuko.

Two Survivors.

"Not really."

Toph walked away.

.

"_I don't like him." Zuko announced crossly, sitting down next to his mother. She gave him a small smile as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders tightly. "He acts like Father does."_

_The fish pond was still, waters reflecting the bright blue sky. He could make out the reflections in the water. His mother stuck her tongue out at him. _

"_You should respect him." She paused, one hand picking idly at the grass. "I don't like him very much either, though."_

"_What does he even do? He and Father are always in business conferences with that other man."_

_His mother's smile faded away. "They look after children."_

"_Is that why Azula is always entertaining them with her dance recitals?" _

"_Yes, Zuko."_

.

"Who was the second survivor?" Zuko asked her as he dipped the brush into the paint can. He sighed at the drops of dark green paint on the floor. Toph had her back to him and was painting uneven strokes on the wall opposite to him.

"My mother."

"Where is she now?"

"Intensive care." She painted a sharp line of green on the wall, looking abstract with the other lines. "My father died of smoke inhalation. We only kept three servants overnight, and none of them had made it." She turned towards him. "I'm making a mess of this, aren't I?"

Zuko grinned. Gaps of the original colours were visible between her sporadic paint job. "It looks good."

"Thank you. Though, I can tell you're lying."

They painted in silence for several minutes before Zuko asked the question. "How did the fire start?"

She kept her back turned towards him. "I don't know."

She was lying, but that was alright. Sometimes it was easier not to think about the past and let it rot.

(or, let it burn.)

.

"_I feel sick inside," Azula whispered into his ear at night, lying shoulder to shoulder beneath his bed. The part was loud. They could hear the noise through the floorboards. _

_Zuko wanted to scream. _

"_I can still feel his hands at night, even when he isn't there. But he's always here." Azula pressed her hand to the board that ran right across the bed. "Father wants me to perform for Master Zhao again tonight, after they go home. Mother thinks I am a monster. Do you suppose she's right? That one day if you broke my skull open, the devil would come out?"_

_He began to cry. _

"_The devil talks to me every now and then. Tells me all sorts of stories when I'm sad." She grinned, her teeth bright in the dark. "He calls me a phoenix sometimes."_

.

Zuko sat outside on the steps to the city library. Toph was still in class, working late in the studio on a sculpting assignment. The sky was almost like bronze velvet, thick and low against the concrete buildings that looked like skeletons in the night. He watched quietly, the streets a low roar of traffic and people going to and from. The school was just across the street, windows blazed with lights.

"Zuko." A man stepped closer towards the steps. "I never thought I would see you again."

He stood up unsure.

"I suppose you don't remember me. I was one of your Father's friends. It was shame he died." The man stuck his hand out. "I'm Zhao."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Zuko clenched his fists tightly.

Zhao grinned at him. "I'm here on business. I heard about your sister. I'm so sorry that she went insane. What a tragedy that had been."

"You stay the fucking hell away from me. Don't even think about going near Toph."

"Kuei will be so disappointed. He's been waiting so long to be reunited with his purchase."

Zuko glared at Zhao, stepping closer. "I know exactly what you did to Azula. You've been the one leaving me pictures, haven't you?"

"I'm surprised it took you this long to figure this out." He leered at him. "You've been awfully busy haven't you? Painting a blind girl's walls?"

He frowned. The past four days Zuko had spent as much time as possible at Toph's apartment. Somewhere down the lines he had begun doing basic renovations. He had rounded the corners of her table, adjusting the furniture just so. It had started out basic but he eventually found himself fixing the floor for her as well, noticing the piece of wood jutting out in the hallway. He hadn't really thought about painting the walls, it just felt to dark inside her home with the windows dirty and streaked. "What do you want with her?"

Zhao pulled out a pack of cigarettes, playing with it slightly. He grinned at Zuko.

Zuko scowled, eying the package. "You attacked her that night, didn't you? In the studio?"

"Kuei wanted her frightened. He misses listening to her cry."

"Fuck you," he spat out. "I will bring you down."

He shrugged. "Whatever."

He watched Zhao walk away into the night.

.

"_The Bei Fong case is spurring a lot of attention these days." His uncle mused as he wiped his hands clean on a towel. "Never seen such a fire." Images of a fire were strewn across the television screen. _

_Zuko shrugged. _

"_Fire is such a delicate element. Needs to be nurtured properly."_

_._

"How was your night?" Toph asked him as she poured carefully two glasses of juice.

"Fine." Zuko told her as he adjusted the curtains slightly. "How was class?"

"It was good. I was just glazing the plates for my assignment. Aang was helping me out for a bit. You didn't have to wait for me though."

He took the glass from her hand. "I wanted to."

"Thank you."

.

"_You aren't my son." His father's hands were rough as they shoved him down on the ground. "You will never be my son." The soft earth broke his fall, his hands scrambling to lift himself up before his father kicked him hard in the ribs. _

"_You can't touch her!" Zuko screamed at him, feet lashing out at his father's ankles and trying to break them. "You are a monster!"_

"_You are nothing!" _

_Azula grabbed him by the collar and dragged him backwards. "Shall I?" She asked softly, her eyes gleaming in the darkness of the night. _

"_Yes, Azula." _

_Zuko struggled as he was shoved backwards and into the fish pond, her weight pushing him down. The dark sky looked warped beneath the water and Azula glared down. He thrashed, trying to push up against the water and break the surface. _

.

.

"_I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to."_

.

.

"I'm just the leaving the studio now. I'll be home in twenty minutes. Are you at the Jasmine Dragon?"

"Yeah." Zuko said. "I'll wait for you here."

"Alright." She smiled slightly before ending the call.

.

"_Why am can't I see?" Toph asked her mother quietly. _

_Her mother's voice was harsh in the perfumed air. "Because you were a mistake."_

"_Is that why father is selling me?"_

"_You are a burden to our family."_

.

Zhao watched her walking down the street with her head bowed. He fumbled for his phone to take a picture of her and sent it quickly to Zuko. "Hey." He called out, jumping off the rail and making his way over to her. "Little red riding hood." Zhao threw his cigarette onto the ground.

Her grip on her cane tightened. "Hello?"

"You're Toph, right?" He looked around the empty streets. The street lights were dim, barely outlining the side walk from the road.

Toph took a step backwards away from him. "Why?"

"I'm Zuko's friend."

She gave him a slight nod. "That is fantastic. If you don't mind though, I should be going home."

"I'll walk you."

"I'd rather you not." Toph frowned at him.

"I wouldn't want anything happen to you. Walking alone at night, a lot of bad things could happen." Zhao grinned. "Zuko would be crushed."

His phone frantically began buzzing.

She flinched as Zhao took her by the arm and pulled her closer. "You really shouldn't be walking alone like this. It isn't safe for someone so defenseless like yourself."

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much." She shrugged as she pulled herself out of his grip. "I don't live very far from here. I think I can manage just fine."

"I know where you live, Bei Fong. You're a bit further away than a couple of blocks."

She frowned.

"Who are you?"

"I told you already. I am Zhao. Somebody Zuko used to know very well." He paused, stepping closer to her. "In fact, I've been very close to you as of late, little girl."

Toph stumbled over the sidewalk. "You're the one who has been leaving me those pictures! You attacked me!" Her eyes widened at the smell of cigarette smoke that burned the air.

"Clever girl."

"Leave him alone, you asshole!" She hit his knee with her cane sharply. "Get away from me!"

She went to hit him again but Zhao grabbed her by the arm and snatched the cane from her grip and threw it across the street. "You're going to shut your mouth and be a good little girl."

Toph slapped him hard, dragging her nails across his face. "Go die," she hissed.

Her phone began to go off loudly.

Zhao pressed her up against a wall and pulled at her red jacket roughly. "Get off of me!" She screamed, lashing out with her fists. "Don't touch me! Get off right now!" He tore her jacket off her in pieces.

His hands were rough, grabbing hold of her wrists and smashing her head against the wall. "Just shut up!" Zhao paused before laughing lowly. "Looks like you've got matching scars. You're perfect for each other."

Her bared arms were wrecked with burn scars.

"I wonder what Kuei would say if he saw you now."

"Please stop," she whispered as his hands began pulling at her shirt.

"Shut up."

A force plowed into Zhao.

"Don't touch her." Zuko ground out. "I will break your fucking fingers."

Toph covered her ears tightly.

He kicked Zhao hard in the ribs before yanking him up against the wall. "You don't touch her. Don't even go near her."

Seconds trickled into sheer anger, just a dull throb of endless rage building and building.

And spilling over.

He felt like he was being electrocuted. He can't stop lashing out at Zhao, wanting to break him apart and rip out his organs through his throat. Zuko wrapped his hands tightly around Zhao's neck and squeezed hard. "You will regret this. I will make you regret this."

Zhao is choking and all Zuko could see were red rooms and his father's hands.

He stopped.

Pushed Zhao hard onto the pavement.

Looked away.

Toph wasn't moving, just curled up and trembling. "Toph," he tried to lightly touch her wrist.

She flinched.

"It's me. Zuko." He didn't know how to make the blood on his hands or the bruises on her arms go away. "Toph."

She slowly began to respond to his touch. "My cane please." She shivered in the cold. He shrugged off his own jacket and slipped it over her bare shoulders, casting a glance at her torn up jacket. "My cane."

"I don't see it."

"I don't see it either." She spat out, struggling to her feet.

Zuko tried to steady her. "It's just me. I'm going to take you home."

"My cane," she whispered, her hands grabbing on her hair tightly. "I need my cane."

He kept her from stumbling backwards. "I don't see it anywhere. It's too dark out for me to find it. I'm going to get you home."

They walk slowly, her hands like a vice around his elbow. He could still feel rage building up within, and the need to hit something hard beginning to overwhelm him.

.

"How did you know?"

He looked down at her.

"He sent me a picture of you walking tonight."

She looked away.

"I can take care of myself."

"I know."

.

It took her a few tries to unlock her door, trying to fit the key into the lock with shaking hands. She didn't know that there is an envelope taped to her door, but he does. He waited for her to slip into the dark apartment before he ripped it off and shoved it into his jeans pockets.

"I'm going to get you a drink."

"I don't want anything."

"That's nice."

He got her a glass of water from the kitchen and made her sit down on the couch, eyeing the dark living room. Nothing looked out of place. No pictures had been taped to her door, no memories of her past waiting to strike out at her.

"Thank you, by the way." She sat the glass down carefully on the table beside the couch, one hand feeling for the surface before she put it down.

He shrugged before remembering that she can't see the movement. "Welcome."

They sit in silence for a few minutes.

"He won't go near you." Zuko tried to reassure her.

"You don't know that."

.

_Kuei fastened the pearl chocker around her neck tight. It felt like an over glorified collar fastened to a leash._

"_What do you think?" He whispered in her ear. _

_She scowled. "It looks beautiful."_

_His hands squeezed her neck, making her inhale sharply. "You think you're fucking hilarious, don't you? I'll show you funny though. I'll break your spine on our wedding night. I'll shatter your legs and snap each one of your fingers. I'll break you apart over and over, you little bitch. I'll rip your heart out through your fucking neck." Kuei's words smelt like gasoline. "You'll look beautiful in my chains, you know."_

_He clenched his hands tight around her throat, brushing his lips against her forehead before he released the pressure. _

"_What do you think of the pearls now?"_

"_They're lovely," she whispered. _

.

"Do you want me to stay?" Zuko peered out the streaked and dirty window and into the night. The streets looked quiet and empty below him.

She kept her head bent down. "No."

"Toph, you were almost raped."

"I know what happened. I want to be left alone." She snapped at him, tilting her head up suddenly.

"I can help you."

Toph shrugged off his jacket and handed it towards him, bearing the burn scars on her arms to him. Zuko cringed. They looked savage and red against the paleness of her skin. "I don't need your help. I don't _want_ it."

"What happened to your arms?" Zuko squatted down, trying to take her hands. "Are these from the fire?"

She pulled her hands away. "Mind your own business." Toph scowled. "You're not my master, you know."

"Toph-" he began but she cut him off quickly.

"Please leave. I want to be left alone. I can handle myself, Zuko. I don't need you to save the day or whatever. Just leave me alone."

Zuko swallowed.

"What did Zhao say to you?"

"Get out of my home."

.

He doesn't leave her apartment.

.

Toph curls up on the floor of her bathroom, her cheek against the cold bathroom tile. Her chest feels ice cold and hollow, and all she can think is where her cane is and when will Zhao come back and _Kuei_. She doesn't understand that she's crying until morning comes, when her eyes feel swollen and raw.

She can feel the light come in through her window, warm and soft against her skin. Toph cringed and moved away from it, tucking herself beneath the sink and into the shadows.

"_I wonder what Kuei would say if he saw you now."_

.

She can still hear them screaming at night.

.

Zuko knocked lightly on the door.

"Toph?"

She said nothing in response, just remained on the floor curled up tightly.

The door opened slowly.

Hands were pulling at her, lifting her up off the ground. "You're not alone anymore." He mumbled awkwardly as he held onto her, hugging her tightly.

.

"_I'll never leave you."_

_._

"Thank you, Zuko."


	10. morning

.

infinite

.

"_Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or just the ending itself?"_

.

So it's been a bit longer than I had anticipated to start working on a new chapter. Sorry about that. Though, to be fair, I didn't end on quite the cliff hanger. I feel like I deserve credit for that.

I have a test tomorrow on Greek and I got sick at examining the optical illusions in Greek architecture so I decided to take a break.

I want to thank everyone for all of the wonderful reviews! Thank you for reading!

.

_morning_

.

Zhao's face was a rainbow of bruises. He sat stiffly in his chair across from Zuko, two bottles of beer sitting in front of them. The bar was hot despite the cold winter descending around them, flakes of snow falling outside. Zuko eyed the condensation on the amber glasses for a brief moment before meeting the other man's gaze defiantly. In his hand beneath the table he gripped his knife tightly. "I told you to stay away from us."

"She was asking for it." Zhao said rigidly. The crowd was thinning out slowly, just a single man perched at the counter with long black hair. Zuko briefly recognised him as Katara's ex-boyfriend, some social activist type. "She was begging for me to do her."

Zuko snorted, cocking his head slightly. "Is that why she was fighting you?"

There were cuts down the side of Zhao's face, unmistakably crimson in the dull lighting. He steeled his gaze at the younger man. "All the good girls will fight you. Your little sister did at first."

"And then you break them down into basic forms." Zuko shot back blankly, his heart lurching at the mention of Azula. "You're lucky I don't gut you for what you did to her."

Zhao's mouth stretched into a mockery of a smile. "Azula used to beg for it, you know. Your father would have her down on her knees, begging."

Zuko's hand twitched. "Leave her out of it."

"I'm sorry. How insensitive of me. I should just let the dead lie, shouldn't I?"

"Be bad form not to."

Zhao nodded at him mockingly. "Look at you. Your father never imagined you'd grow a backbone. Shame it happened now. He had been so disappointed with your inability to step into his footsteps. Your mother was a bad influence."

.

_The grave was dug shallow in the rain, dark earth turning to mud. Zuko watched as his father slowly dug into the earth and lifted out each shovelful in a steady rhythm. Azula watched with wide eyes and mud smeared across her face. "Mother was bad, wasn't she?" She looked up to Zuko, squinting her eyes against the downpour of the rain. _

"_She was good." He claimed blandly, turning away from her and facing the dark red blanket. "You monster."_

_Azula made a noise as if she had been slapped. _

"_What did I do wrong?" _

_The digging stopped. Their father leaned on the shovel, his cold eyes taking in the two children before him. "You didn't kill him like you were supposed to." _

_Zuko closed his eyes. His lungs still burned from the struggle to breathe, his arms and back still stung from his father's hits. "I'm your son." He whispered, his words barely heard over the loudness of the rain. _

_His father's eyes looked black in the darkness, glittering oddly in the shadows. "No you aren't. I want you gone by tomorrow morning." He stepped out of the shallow grave and hauled his wife wrapped in the red blanket up before tossing her into the grave. "Finish this and pack your things." His father handed him the shovel. _

_Zuko bitterly took it. _

_. _

"You're working with Kuei." Zuko stated calmly, tilting his chin up slightly. "What does he want?"

Zhao gave a short laugh before grimacing at the pain. "He wants Little Red Riding Hood. He paid a great deal for her, and then she slipped away after the fire. My business associate is not pleased with how the events had played out."

Zuko scowled. "She's her own person. He can't just buy her."

"Except he did. You see that mark on her? He branded her with his own initials. Stuff like that doesn't just vanish." He paused. "You're fond of her, aren't you?"

"I want her to be happy."

"Kuei would rather cripple her before letting her go. You see, Kuei likes hurting girls like her. He met her when she was a child and he messed her for a while. Then he returned, because sometimes the game doesn't end that fast. He's the sort of man that'll never stop playing until one of them is dead. Do you understand?"

Zuko felt the hilt of the knife, his hand clenching around it tightly. "How much money does he want?"

He sighed loudly. "You're not listening. He'll never give up until she's dead." Zhao looked at him hard. "If I were you I'd snap her neck. Kuei will make sure she'll never escape him." Zhao downed half the beer before slamming it back down hard on the table between them. "You thought Azula had issues. That was nothing. Kuei wants to break her apart and explore what exists within her bones." He pressed his hands down on the table as he leaned towards Zuko.

He cringed. "Stop bringing up Azula into this conversation."

Zhao grinned with his teeth. "I'm never going to be sorry, you know. I miss her some nights still, when she was still sane. She was so much fun when she cried."

With a smooth motion he stabbed Zhao's hand with the knife.

"Tell Kuei to back the hell off." Zuko hissed before leaving the bar.

The waitress was screaming.

.

"Zuko?" Toph asked as she stepped away from the table. She had set dishes and cutlery out already, trying to arrange them properly the way Katara had taught her a couple weeks before. "Is that you?" She heard the door shut in response.

"Yeah."

She let out the breath she hadn't realized she been holding. "Good. I think dinner is done soon." Toph stepped closer to the stove, hand grasping the spatula carefully as she flipped the bread over in the pan. "Where were you?"

"Discussing things with my father's friend."

She nodded, listening to him walk down the hallway. "There's a salad in the fridge. Could you get it out please?"

Zuko did as she asked, watching her lean over the stove. "How are you doing that?" She reached out for a plate and delicately slid the sandwiches from the pan to the dish. He recognised it as one that she had made herself, her traditional symbol carved into the clay. "Cooking?"

She shrugged at him. "I can smell it when it's cooking. I can't do much, but I can at least make grilled cheese." She handed him the plate before taking the eight steps from the stove to the table. "How's Iroh?"

Zuko set the plate between them. "Fine." They both slid into chairs across from each other. "How were your classes?"

"Boring as hell." She paused, widening her eyes just slightly. "I just couldn't see the point, you know."

.

He walks her home every evening after her late classes. Sometimes she meets him at the Jasmine Dragon when he's working a late shifting, opting to wait for him while drinking tea and provoking Meng. Iroh sometimes drops by the visit, his laugh filling the tea shop entirely.

"It is good to see you again, Toph." Iroh would greet her every time the doorbell jangled. She would step into the warmth of the room, snowflakes caught in her short black hair. "How are you feeling tonight?" He would set out the fine tea set, pouring random cups of tea to try to surprise her with.

Every time without fail she would properly dissect the flavours. Iroh would muse over the blends again and again, or sometimes telling stories from when he was a General in the military, "Hey, Sparky." Toph would greet Zuko from where he stood passively, turning her body in that direction. "Take a cup."

.

They walked together down the street, wrists brushing slightly. Toph kept her head stubbornly tilted downwards. "Sokka told me the movie would be good." She broke out into conversation suddenly, her cane hitting the ground evenly.

"What is it about?" He asks after warning her of the slight dip in the sidewalk

Toph shrugged. "Some warrior princess who ends up throwing herself into a volcano."

Zuko gave a slight chuckle. "Way to spoil it."

"Blame Sokka. He spoiled it for me." Toph wrinkled her nose. "Do you smell smoke?" She looked up at the sky, her words sounding sharp. Zuko looked down the street and heard the wail of sirens. He grabbed her hand tightly and began pulling her towards the noise.

They rounded the block and froze, Toph running into Zuko's side. An apartment building was burning, fire devouring the entire structure entirely. "Shit." He swore as he tightened his grip. "That's my building." Her eyes widened as she began to pull away. Zuko kept a hold on her. "Don't go anywhere." He warned her as he scanned the area.

A figure stood with his back to a wall just a couple streets down looked towards them, waving daintily towards the two.

"We're leaving." Zuko didn't drop her hand until they were back at her flat. Toph was quiet, face pale and drawn. Her hair smelt like smoke.

"Are you okay?" She finally asked him, digging in her pockets for her key.

He didn't respond.

Toph led him into the house, her hand groping the shelf for something small that she pressed into his hand. "Here. You can stay here."

A silver key glinted up at him.

.

Despite living in the same space together, Toph remained elusive. She crept around him much better than she should have been able to, slipping past him towards the door where she would leave.

It took him three days to understand that the fire terrified her.

She had felt the heat against her face, heard the roar of it engulfing the entire building. The great cracking noise it made as it began to break apart, floors caving into ashes. Smoke was caught in her hair.

He doesn't give her a chance to run away, because the moment she slips in the door a little after midnight he has her in his grip, not letting go. "It's okay." He tells her quietly.

.

When they finally kiss, it tastes like jasmine tea and promises.

.

For the first time in forever, neither of them feels the sharp sting of loneliness.

.


	11. falling star

.

infinite

.

"_The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way."_

.

So, I've been fairly busy lately with school and actually attempting to maintain and proper social life. Finals are approaching, so I've been taking small breaks to actually assemble together a new chapter for you all to enjoy. I've had a lot of people asking for fluffier things, so this chapter will be a small break for the characters.

I've also posted a few new stories, so feel free to check them out if you're into Harry Potter, Avengers or American Horror Story.

Sorry about the wait!

(also, sorry about the language.)

(also, touchy subject coming up.)

.

_falling stars_

.

Suki frowned, knocking smartly on the door. She'd been working longer shifts at the gym and it felt nice to have a day off for the first time in forever. She stamped her feet and sighed loudly, watching her breath hang in the cold air.

"I know you're in there!" She called out loudly, waiting for Toph to open the door. "Aang says you missed class today, which you never do. If you don't open up the door then I'm going to come in myself."

She took the correct key from her key ring and easily unlocked the door after waiting fifteen seconds before stepping into the dark apartment. She wasn't overly surprised, knowing Toph's tendency to ignore light switches. "It's almost three in the afternoon. If you're asleep you're going to regret it." Suki paused her march down the hallway, halting for a glass of cold water before continuing on. "Are you sick or something?"

The apartment looked different, like Toph's landlord had finally gotten his nose out of his books and actually fixed the dump up into something that looked surprisingly nice. The smell of fresh paint still clung to the walls, making her bite back a slight laugh. She quietly pushed open Toph's bedroom door before dropping the glass of icy water out of surprise.

It shattered easily, making her shriek out in shock from the cold water splashing at her jean clad legs. Suki could barely see Toph the way she was dwarfed by a larger man, her face pressed against his shoulder and only a shock of messy black hair visible of her friend.

The two woke up instantly, Toph jolting and the man grabbing hold of his bed companion tightly. "Who are you?" He grumbled, words sounding thick with sleep.

"Toph?" Suki called out in a voice that sounds almost squeaky to her own ears. "I'll just go."

.

Toph grinned towards Zuko, her black hair barely brushing against her shoulders. "That would be my friend."

"Is that Sokka's girlfriend?"

She nodded as she got out of the bed, clutching a sheet around her as she shuffled towards her closet. "What was her face like?"

Zuko couldn't help but smile. "Stunned."

"Excellent. I can hold this over her head for a very long time, you know. Usually Suki is all calm and cool, like a cucumber." Toph opened the door slowly before gliding her hand over the hangers, feeling the fabric briefly before selecting a long sleeved dress that Katara had bought for her once. Closing her eyes she dropped the sheet, flinching at the feel of cold air on her bare skin.

She knew her flesh was a testament of her past, ruined and warped with vibrantly visible red burn scars. The branding on her hip still stung, his marking forever staining her skin.

Zuko stood up carefully and walked behind her. "What are you thinking about?"

_._

_She was submerged in a bathtub, the icy water almost burning her. _

_Her lungs were screaming at her, hair floating all around her as she forced herself to remain within the safety of the water. The slow pounding of her heart was so loud and sluggish it terrified her. _

_She was done. She could still feel his touch over her chest, over her thighs. _

_Someone shrieked, hands forcing her up out of the water. "What are you doing?" Her mother howled, striking her hard against her back, making her spit out water and vomit. "You stupid, ungrateful bitch! You do not leave me here alone!"_

_Tears burned her eyes. "Fuck you." She spat out, the words scorching her tongue. "I want to die."_

_Her mother roughly grasped Toph's chin, pressing their foreheads together. "We were all born to die."_

"_The fuck is that supposed to mean?"_

"_It means you have a duty that you will fulfil. I do not care if Kuei fucks you to death, but you will make a profit! You are nothing. You are a blind helpless little girl, nothing more than a tool that we have acquired. Kuei wants you and is quite willing to pay a large sum for your worthless body." _

_Toph spit in her mother's face. "Go fuck yourself." _

_._

"Nothing." Toph smiled thinly, turning towards him slightly. "There's broken glass on the floor, isn't there?"

Zuko grimaced as he looked towards the mess of the water and glass on the ground by the doorway. "I'll clean it up. Stay here."

Toph rolled her eyes as she slipped the dress over her head and pulled it on correctly. She heard Zuko skirting around the glass before walking down the hallway. Rolling up her sleeves, she felt her left wrist carefully. Five straight scars were like braille to her touch, marring her wrist. "The broom is in the closet!" She called to him as she yanked the sleeve down to hide them.

"I know."

.

"_You're a survivor." The nurse informed her quietly as she smoothed the blankets out. "I've seen your medical records, and you've survived a lot."_

_Toph lay still, resenting the constant shrill beeping of the heart monitor. _

_The nurse continued on. "This is your chance, you know. You're free from that house. The world is your own to master." It sounded like the nurse was trying to give her a sympathetic smile which Toph scowled out. "You can do anything you want."_

"_I don't want to live." _

_Toph could hear how the woman recoiled from her words, how detached they sounded. Part of her relished the feeling of making this stranger hurt, the way she hurts. The other part of her simply didn't care anymore. _

"_We are all born owing a death." A large but soft hand took her own hand carefully. "But, I think life owes you a bit more right now." _

"_That makes no sense." _

"_Make life worth living. Go to school and learn something. Find your passion, do anything. Take up knitting, for God's sake! You have your entire life in front of you." _

_._

Zuko cautiously sat next to her on the couch, flicking through the channels lazily. The heat inside the apartment was broken still, leaving the two bundled in the mass of blankets that Toph owned and drinking from oversized mugs bagged tea that he had made. "Why do you own a television, anyways?"

She snorted. "Just because I'm blind I can't watch?"

"That's exactly what I meant."

"It came with the place. I like listening to it sometimes. It made the apartment feel less empty, to be honest." She wrinkled her nose. "What are you looking for?"

Zuko shrugged. "A movie, maybe?"

She felt for the end table to set her emptied mug on. "Channel thirty should have a marathon of horror movies, I think." She listened as the noise of the television turned from various snippets of bouncy pop songs to quick flashes of conversations before settling on a dramatic music that made her tense with anticipation. "Which one is this?"

"I have no idea. An old one, I think." Someone screamed, making them both jump. "Really old." He chuckled.

Zuko slipped his arm around her without thinking, pulling Toph closer to his side. "There's something walking through the house. Fuck-" he faltered, his body jolting slightly and the music rose to a high pitch. "The thing has the creepiest face ever."

Toph poked him. "Are you afraid of a movie?"

"Of course." He replied blandly. "Aren't you?"

"I'm not afraid of anything." She informs him coolly.

It's a lie of course. They both can see through the façade easily, because the both remember. Fear flickering across her face in the moonlight, her hands grasping matches. She remembers cowering in her bathroom, curling up on the cold tiled floor. "You'll never have to be afraid." Zuko states quietly. "Not again."

"Of course not. Why would I be afraid?" She tucked her knees to her chest. "I'm bulletproof."

Bulletproof, but not fireproof.

_._

_This part of the hospital is different from the rest, she decides as she sits in the plastic chair. The air tastes smoky to her, which makes sense seeing as she is sitting inside the burn ward. "She'll be here in a moment, Miss." The male attendant informs her cheerfully, his words reeking of cigarettes. "You should be aware of the damage that the fire did to her. She won't look the same."_

"_It's a good thing I'm blind then." She replies calmly, inwardly seething. _

_He departs awkwardly; leaving her in an empty room that she imagines is made up of mirrors. The entire space would be constantly warped, her mother's face transformed into a collage of ugliness. Satisfaction is a bitterly sweet thing, she understands. _

_The doors open quietly, air whooshing in. A wheelchair is pushed closer to where she sits, the wheels making almost no sound. "Mother." She greets as the nurse sets up the broken woman across from Toph. _

"_You… you." The voice sounds like its being strained. "fire." _

"_Would you leave us?" Toph smiles sweetly towards the nurse. "It's been a while since I've seen my mother, after all." She broke into a harsh laugh. "Get it? Seen my mother?"_

_The nurse left quickly. _

"_Well. Just us then." Toph let the smile melt away. "I've discovered that sometimes it is easier pretending that you're insane. It makes people leave you alone."_

"_The… matches." _

"_Yes, yes." She rolled her eyes. "Anyways. I'm here to cut ties, or whatever I'm supposed to be doing. You see, I got some surprisingly good advice when I was recovering." She halted, giving a razor sharp smile towards her mother as she lifted her wrist up towards her, conveniently flipping her off. "The second recovery." _

_Her mother struggled to speak, unintelligible words being spit out weakly. _

"_Don't get worked up, mother. It makes you sound pathetic. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I came very close to dying three times. You were there for the first time, remember? Remember the bathtub and the ice cold water, and how I tried to drown myself? I do. Then there was a fire. I thought about the irony of it. I couldn't die drowning myself, so I would die in flames. It burned so much, but I'm sure you understand that pain quite a bit, don't you?" She leaned forward, fury burning in her bones. "Then I tried to slit my wrists, and finally escape. The hospital however caught me and fixed me up." Her expression softened slightly. "The nurse told me to live, however. To do anything I wanted, and live my life."_

"_You… matches." _

"_So, I've decided that I'm going to live out of sheer spite. Because you, you fucking waste, are nothing. You're a charred piece of flesh destined to die in this ward. You are simply nothing at all to me, and you never will amount to anything." Toph grinned at the way her words hung in the air, filling the space with her hate. "Father is dead. I had him buried in an unmarked grave, so nothing will ever spare you. You're trapped inside a useless body, and for the first time you will understand exactly how it feels to be me. Father won't be able to protect your from the legal matters."_

"_W-what?"_

"_It is looked kindly upon when you sell your underage daughter to a grown man and promote in her rape." Her rage flared. "They saw the scars you and father left on me with the belt. You are so fucked, and you won't be able to protect yourself. I hope you burn in hell." Toph stood up suddenly, pushing the chair backwards. "If you haven't already."_

_._

He fell asleep with the movie still playing on, his arms tight around her and keeping her next to him. Toph grinned at his habit, remembering the night before when he refused to release her. She hummed lightly, running her hand though her soft hair.

He stirred, making her flinch. "Toph?" He half whispered, rubbing his forehead against her neck.

"Yeah?"

There was a long pause. "You tried to kill yourself, didn't you?"

Her heart paused. "What?"

He shifted his position. "I saw the scars on your wrists last night. And this morning."

Toph began to pull out of his grip but he only grabbed her more tightly around the waist and forced her closer to him. "The burn scars? Those were from the fire."

Zuko sighed loudly. "The other scars."

"Let me go."

"No."

Her voice became hard. "Get off of me."

"I'm not letting you go." Zuko trapped her arms to her sides. "I just want to know when you did it."

Toph swore at him briefly before forcing the words together. "I did it a little before I was to be released from the hospital from the burns." She paused briefly before continuing on with the story. "I was supposed to go into protective custody, but I was done. Kuei was out there, still. I was tired. So fucking tired."

"So you decided to try and kill yourself."

"Yeah."

"Please don't do it again."

"I won't." She promises, but yet it sounds like a lie to herself.

.

"_Goodnight." She tells the nurse quietly as she slips down the hallway towards her room, her fingers pressed against the wall as the grope for the door signs marked with braille. She shuts the door carefully behind her and moves towards the bed where a razor that the boy next door had traded her in turn of a hundred dollars in cold cash._

_She doesn't bother crying or getting angry or even feeling anything. She just calmly takes the razor and drags it across her skin for sheer relief. _

_Someone knocks at her door quietly. "Go away!" _

"_Toph? Are you alright?" the nurse calls to her. _

_She slashes her wrist again and again. _

_The door opens slowly. "What are you doing?" The nurse breathes horrified. What her blood most look like, staining the bed sheets and her clothing like this. Toph did another neat cut. It stung and burned, making her gasp in relief. _

"_We're all born owing a death." Toph moans, tipping sideways. The nurse's voice becomes shrill, crying out for help and for her to hold on but can't she see that she is already slipping away?_

.

He's a horrible dancer, she discovers. Music is flowing from the stereo they purchased together, Ramones filling the cold air. "Am I dancing with a tree?" She asks him sarcastically as she grabs his arms tightly. "This is horrible."

"I don't dance." He informs her but it sounds like he might be trying to bite back a smile. "You do, apparently."

Poison Heart is loud and desperate, making her twist her hips and grin at him. "Just move with the music. Stop looking, start hearing."

He does eventually stop looking, his hands gentle at her waist and moving with her slowly despite the fast paced song. "I didn't peg you for a Ramones fan."

She shrugged. "I didn't think I could get you to dance."

"Are you happy?"

Toph smiled at him. "Of course I am. Now shut up and dance."

.

(is she happy? can she be happy?)


	12. burning dawn

_._

_infinite _

_._

"_The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way."_

_._

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukah or whatever you may happen to celebrate. Finals are thankfully over for another four months, thank God.

I want to apologise to one particular reader of this story whom was quite offended by my lack of updating. So, LazyAndIKnowItP, this chapter is for you. I feel the need to inform you, that, similar to the title, my presence will always be infinite and always.

Also, this is surprisingly sappy in places. I'm so sorry.

.

_burning dawn_

.

Sokka jumped out of his truck, grinning broadly at Zuko. "So you finally shacked up, right? I've never seen Suki so flustered before." The air was cool around them, but despite it the tan man lacked proper winter clothing and wore a pair of slightly distressed jeans, a thin blue shirt and battered construction boots. "Congratulations. Toph is highly insane, and you deserve someone like her."

His words irked him. Azula had been insane, his father had been insane. Toph was different from his past. She was bright, brighter than the stars in the night.

"I do." He said shortly.

Sokka ignored his slightly snarky response. "Any plans for the evening?"

"She has a late class tonight." Zuko leaned up against the bright blue truck. The construction site behind them both was a loud scene, people shouting over the hammering and noise of the machinery. "Aang's walking her back after."

"Any news about the fire? Was it an accident, or something?"

The remains of the building were nothing more than a skeletal frame emerging from the wreckage of smouldering ashes. Three dead had been discovered, and eleven injured had been stolen away from the flames and delivered to the hospital in screaming ambulances. None of his belongings could have been recovered, not even the music box that had once been Azula's.

"What they're saying is that the wires were faulty."

Sokka frowned. "That was a really old building. Weren't you thinking about moving out at some point anyways?"

"Yeah, it was a crummy apartment."

"So, now you're living with Toph then? What's that like?"

"Fine."

It wasn't really fine. It was the best thing that had happened to him. Zuko was an angry and wrecked figure tortured by his past, but for now he was finally capable of living in the present. Zuko finally understood happiness, something that had always been void to him before.

"You don't look like an angry son of a bitch anymore." Sokka gave Zuko a long glance. "So, I'm happy for you. Toph's awesome. Don't mess with her though. Katara will rip your face off."

Zuko snorted. "Yeah, Katara would. Remember when Jet cheated on her with that Sally Bee girl?"

"Yeah. Sucker didn't get out of the hospital for weeks." He looked satisfied and oddly proud.

.

"_Do you believe in love?" Azula questioned him, cutting apart a shiny red heart. The entire room was decorated lavishly in a tacky Valentine's Day theme. She was seated cross legged on the floor surrounded by the hacked apart red hearts that were everywhere. "Mother claims that she loves Father." _

_Zuko looked up from the book his Uncle had given him. "Why?"_

"_Zhao told me he loved me."_

.

Toph sat down at the table, her short dark hair falling in her face. Her fingers drifted over a thick page as she focused on reading braille. A cup of peppermint tea sat next to her elbow, making Zuko feel concern at the way her arm kept shifting as she read.

"What are you reading?"

"Stuff about Van Gogh." She shrugged shortly before yawning. "Need to finish a paper for Friday."

"Have you thought about taking a break and getting some sleep?" Zuko asked before stealing away the thick textbook and setting it aside from her. She glowered at him from across the table where she sat, but the affect was lost due to how utterly worn out she looked. "Because you look like you're going to pass out."

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm fine. Now give me back my book."

Zuko stood up and placed it on the top shelf of the bookcase where she would have difficulty stealing it back due to her unfortunate height difference. "No, you're going to bed before you work yourself sick." He moved closer, stepping loudly to ensure she knew he was nearing. Once he had snuck up behind her and it resulted in a full panic, her lashing out with her fists and him failing to calm her down.

"What the hell? I need to get this done."

"You'll get it done once you're awake and not falling asleep." He took her hand and tugged lightly. "You've been so busy lately that you're not yourself anymore. Your quieter, you aren't eating right and Aang told me you fell asleep in your class today."

She jerked her hand out of his. The motion knocked the cup of tea off the table and onto the ground where it shattered instantly. "Goddamn it." She hissed out. "Another fucking cup."

"Stay here."

"I can get it." She said shortly as she swung her feet down from her chair but was forced to halt by Zuko.

He pushed her back up onto the chair, glaring at the shattered mess on the floor. "Just stay seated. The glass is all over the ground."

"I can see that."

He ignored her sarcasm as he bent down to gather up the larger pieces. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired."

There was something about her words that sounded paper thin to him. Zuko paused, frowning. "Has Kuei gone near you? Has Zhao?"

She tried to get up out of her chair, her bare feet coming almost too close to the shattered tea cup. Zuko stood up and grabbed her by her waist before hauling her up and away. "Get off."

"No. You can just run away from me when you're scared. In case you have forgotten, we're in this together. It was my apartment that got burned; Zhao was targeting you because of _me_- I am not letting you go." He practically threw her onto the bed before slamming the door shut. "So, no. You can't just run away."

She covered her eyes with her hands. "What do you want?"

"I want to know why you're upset! Goddamn it, Toph. Just let me in for once."

"Fine. Therapy is a waste of my time and I personally want to peel off my skin off my bones and die. The court makes me go because I tried to kill myself in the hospital. They want to make sure I'm mentally balanced and capable, but for two hours every week I get judged by some woman who doesn't even know me. So fuck her, because I'm sick of it." Her words sounded hard but at the same time like they were falling apart. "Kuei left a message for me today; I have to write a fucking paper on something I can't even see, so yeah. I'm having a really bad day."

Zuko gave her a few seconds to compose herself before asking, "Better?"

"Yeah."

_._

_Jin was a pretty girl with pretty brown hair. Despite her obvious prettiness, she was merely transparent. Her pale skin was near see through, allowing him to imagine himself dissolving away and hiding from the world. She talked enough, a never ending stream of chatter filling the world around them both. _

_She was a nice girl, but he detested her. _

_He hated the way she clung to his hand, how she darted after him in the hallways at school. She was a year below him, but that didn't stop her from chasing after him relentlessly. _

_Azula would gaze at her wit sharp eyes, analyzing her movements and slowly pulling her apart. _

"_I could get rid of her for you." She informed him at breakfast, her words filled with poison. _

_Zuko had ignored her. _

_._

"What message did he send you?" Zuko hesitantly asked, unsure if he had given her enough time to gather her emotions. Ever since the fire she had been constantly switching emotions like lightning, each change in mood deadly.

She yanked out a piece of thick paper from her pocket, risen dots preventing him from understanding the contents. "It just says that he's watching us, and he'll hurt us in every way possible."

"I hate this creep."

.

_Jin walked into the school looking terrified, her hair falling out of her usually elaborate hair style. "You're sister is mental." She informed him blankly, crossing her arms briskly. "She just held a knife to my throat and told me to stay away from you."_

_Azula looked smug from outside the doors, her sharp smirk easy to see despite the distance from where they stood from each other. _

_Zuko looked at the pretty girl and leaned closer. "Then stay away."_

_._

"Zhao and I have arranged a meeting for later. If I have to kill Kuei, I will."

"No." She demanded, eyes glaring at him. "I kill him. It's my right for what he's done to me."

He swallowed, looking at the hardness on her face. He had difficulty imagining her raised as a china doll, delicate and fragile. It was easy imagining her emerging from the flames the way phoenixes did, with her fists bruised and battered, her feet torn apart. She was a survivor, shadowed by smoke. "Fine."

Zuko sat down next to her, reaching for her hand. Toph squeezed back tightly. "I'm sorry, by the way."

"It's fine."

"No, it really isn't. I've been having a bad week, and I took it out on you. That wasn't cool of me."

He smiled. "I think you just need to get some sleep."

Toph yawned widely.

.

_He punched a wall, feeling very aggravation. His mother looked up from where she was on her hands and knees gardening. "Don't do that, you'll only hurt your hand." _

_He sighed, throwing himself down on the ground beside her. The weather was warm despite the month of February. _

"_What's wrong, darling?" _

"_It's this girl." _

_His Mother grinned at him, her eyes looking bright in the sunshine. "Do you like her?"_

"_No!" Zuko yelped. "I hate her. She's stupid. She keeps following me around and stuff, and it's annoying me." _

"_Zuko!" Azula shouted from the distance, appearing just by the edge of the tree line. "I need you."_

_He groaned. "I'm busy!"_

_His mother frowned. "You should go see her. You two used to be inseparable, but now you'll hardly even speak to her. I think your sister needs you."_

_Zuko got up and walked towards the thick clusters of trees where Azula stood with dirt staining her white skirt. "I need your help moving it, Zuko. I can't do it by myself." The sun burned the back of his neck. _

_He followed her into the shadows, slipping into the coolness of the thick covering of towering trees. "What are you moving?" He asked before he saw her, her legs tangled unnaturally. "What the fuck did you do, Azula?" _

_Jin was dead on the ground, her neck snapped. "She was bothering you, wasn't she?"_

_Zuko and Azula looked at the dead girl on the ground, her hair tangled and a knife sticking out of her chest. "We can throw her into the river." He decided, grabbing her ankles. Azula bent down to take her wrists. _

"_Thank you, Zuko."_

_._

Toph slept sound in the bed, covered by a nest of blankets. The heating in the apartment was still not functioning, leaving the two constantly layered or wrapped in blankets. Zuko shut the door of the room quietly, slipping in beside her. She moved closer towards him in her sleep, seeking out the warmth his body radiated.

He could still feel her ankles in his hands, the way her body felt so heavy. The sound of the corpse hitting the water, the look of her long brown hair snaking in the water. How her body jerked through the current.

Zuko shut his eyes.

.

"_Stay the hell away from me, Azula."_

_._


End file.
